


On The Road......

by elainefr



Category: Daria (Cartoon)
Genre: Daria Morgendorffer - Freeform, F/M, Jane Lane - Freeform, Quinn Morgendorffer - Freeform, Stacy Rowe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2018-07-20 02:46:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 44,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7387429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elainefr/pseuds/elainefr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This Spiral is going on tour (this picks up where Changes ended) and the things that they see and do. So join them in what I hope will be a fun time, on the road. (Disclaimer: I do not own or make money off of any of these characters)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Trent ran his hands over the smooth leather of the journal that she'd given him for Christmas. He traced the imagery of a spiral with his name under it, knowing that Jane must have helped in that aspect and smiled. It had to have cost her more than was necessary, but she'd insisted that she'd gotten it at a great deal. It didn't help his case that he had gotten her practically the same thing in the softest leather bound with her initials embossed on it as well.

Trent's Journal…..

Just left her and man do I already miss her. It's different now, before she would leave for school and I could just go see her, but now…..I'm- I mean, we're on tour for at least six months. There's more at stake now; I can't afford to mess this up. The band has been working really hard and they deserve this. She says that I deserve it too- I don't know about that, but I know that I want it and I want it bad. I feel the need for this rise inside me like inextinguishable fire never to be doused, kind of like how I feel about her. She is…..well there really aren't words adequate words to describe her. Beautiful seems such a common word to use and yet…..it immediately springs to mind whenever I think of her.

The guys are really stoked about everything and I must admit, as cool as I am trying to play it, I am pretty excited too. It's weird to think that I will officially be away from home for such an extended period of time and when I finally do get back- Janey won't be there…..

Finding out about her and Demartino was a shocker, but seeing how she looked when he walked in on New Year's Eve removed any reservations that I had about whether or not she was happy. The whole age thing…..well love is timeless after all, so why should I put some limitation on the ages of those in it? Consenting adults and all of that….. Besides, Janey and I trust each other to know when something is working for the other and to point out anything that we see wrong. Right now she's happy and that's what counts.

Jesse seems…..well, not better, but more resigned to things and how they are now. No great shocker that he harbored deeper feelings for Jane, they've always been close. I guess it should bother me, but he's my best friend and she's my sister. They are two of the greatest people that I know, so why would I have had a problem with two good people being together? I just hate that either of them got hurt. He seems to have found comfort in writing his lyrics…..lord knows it has helped me- well that and cooking. I guess it's different for everyone.

Here we go…..

"This bus is freakin' awesome!" Max said taking in the Entertainer Bus Features. Nick, Jesse, and Trent followed him inside, all were clearly impressed by not only the size but the amenities that it had. "There's like- a million beds back here."

"Actually, there are 12 and the privacy curtain is extra thick with a sound barrier so that each person's privacy won't disturb the others, there's also a lavatory with fully functioning sink, dome lighting, front lounge slide out, satellite tv, Wi-Fi, and a large luggage space that can house your equipment comfortably." Brad Ruttheimer announced as he came on the bus to make sure that everyone was settling in okay.

"Hey Brad," Trent greeted the young man that he would be working with on behalf of the band.

"Trent, is everyone okay with everything?" Brad directed the question to the rest of the band, to which everyone agreed that everything seemed cool.

"Good. We will be hitting the road in the next few and meet up with 'Fix' so that we can go over the layout of the show, set up and all of that. Everyone on board?"

Yeahs and sures were voiced by all and everyone settled in to varying areas in anticipation of what was to come. Trent sat at the table with the band and picked up the deck of cards to start the round of poker that would pass some of the time.


	2. Anticipation

Trent's Journal......

Met up with Fix. They are something else…..I've met a lot of bands and stuff, but these guys really have their shit together. Marcus- he's lead singer and all around good guy of the group- he keeps everything on a real tight leash. He and Devon seem to have a bit of tension- or something; probably a band thing, I mean how many times do I have to break up Max and Nick's conversations that turn into full out war? Talked to Jesse- he and I have been going over some lyrics and changes to the format of our music. He's really feeling the darker and more graphic tones of lyrics lately. I get it…..and once we toned down the drum part to more of an underlay, it gave everything a whole new vibe…..I video chatted with my girl- I grin every time I even think it- but yeah, my girl- er I guess I should say, my woman, but it's my journal, so my girl- anyway we talked. She's…..not enough words come to mind. I'm glad that she's doing well in school and at both her jobs. She said that she's even started typing up that novel that she had been scribbling about. She also mentioned to me that she would be having lunch with that Ted guy that she dated. I don't like it, but I trust her…..that helps- a lot. If I dwell on it long enough though, I could only think about the stuff that bothers me, like the fact that they had- or have, a close relationship and they are still friends. I saw how she looked when they were talking that time outside her apartment- and she kissed him! Hell, there I go- we trust each other or she wouldn't have even mentioned it…..She must have a thing for guys that have a name that begin with T or something….. Ted, Tom, Trent…..mmm…wonder why that is? I'll drive myself crazy if I dwell on that.

Jane is entering another contest. She took the loss of the last one a lot harder than any of us thought. She's brilliant, that Janey, and she takes things to heart, but is reluctant about letting anyone see it. I know that it's a defense mechanism, but it also makes it hard for the people that love her to help her when she needs it. She's so stubborn sometimes…..but that's my sis. My girl is keeping an ever watchful eye on her so that makes me worry less.

First performance is tomorrow night…..I'm kind of nervous. This is like, the big time and probably The Spirals last shot of making it big. This will really set the tone for the tour- to me anyway. Fix is amped up and The Spiral is too- al be it rather nervously. We even got, -like outfits to wear on stage. Nothin major- all black jeans and tees with a spiral logo on it and the neat thing about it is, since they used the design that Janey did on my notebook, she'll be getting a royalty every time that it is used. That will come in handy for her school and stuff….. I told her that I would be sending her some money via the PayPal account that I had set up to add money to for her, but she said no; something about me enjoying the fruits of my labor and all of that. Apparently she doesn't remember that I'm the older sibling here and she can count on me. I'm putting the money in there anyway…..just in case.

"How you doin' man?" Trent asked Jesse as they stood outside the bus, both reclining against it.

"Cool…..you talk to your girl?"

"Yeah, she's good. How 'bout you"

Jesse didn't bother shooting Trent the look that he wanted, Trent could feel it.

"I'm all good. Really ready for this show. This is it man. I can feel it."

Trent nodded his assent for having similar feelings and they both stood in silent a few moments more.

"Did you see the layout that Quinn did?" Jesse asked to which Trent nodded.

Quinn had out done herself with the layout for their page. Truth be told, the most the fellows had hoped for was a social media page that got their name out there to her friends, but Quinn had really done a good job of creating an air of expectation for the tour and the band; it had a countdown to the concert for each date where there would be highlights downloaded per event. There was a short bio on each member with some photos that she'd added. It felt like a huge event and that was just good press. Everything seemed to be moving fast, but The Spiral was more than ready….. Jesse and Trent stood in companionable silence both reflecting on the events to come.


	3. To Party or Not To Party?

Trent's Journal......

That was EPIC, to say the least. The concert was SO FREAKIN AWESOME! I'll never forget how it felt seeing all of those people there and knowing that they were gonna hear us play. So one way or another- The Spiral was gonna be seen and heard. I know that a lot of 'em- probably all of 'em didn't know who we were, but when we took the stage cloaked in darkness there was this expectant hush that fell over everyone. Then I started the first song and the spotlight hit me and each person as they entered the song; all I could do was feel every second and it was like nothing else. The band was in perfect simpatico- all of us. We took each other's cues and no one missed a beat. The music was all that I wanted it to be and then some. Then there was the crowd's response- hearing, not just applause, but their interaction with us- they were feelin' it too. I can't wait to v-chat with my girl and tell her all about it. Everyone is celebrating, mostly getting wasted, but Brad said none of the hard stuff- no prob for me, I never was into the heavy stuff- not that I didn't do my share- it just wasn't my thing. I like to just chill mostly- an observer she says- helps me to keep my thoughts straight. Max was calling Stacy before we could get off the stage good, so I think he's a lot more serious about her than everyone thought. Kinda makes me feel old when I look back at the journey to get here…..not that it's a bad thing. Hopefully with age, comes wisdom.

"Hey there little drummer boy, wanna party?" the animae looking girl approached Max once he'd ended his phone call and started helping to load the equipment. Max looked at the young girl with a bit of a smirk.

(v/o) She's more Nick's style, but cute-ish, I suppose. Stacy would definitely not find this amusing though; Can't say that I would blame her, the idea of one of those athletic or brainiac types at her school hitting on her doesn't exactly sit well with me either. Best to tell this one to move it along.

"Thanks for the invite, but I'm all good."

"Aww shoot," she pouted giving a slight smudge to the hot pink lipstick when she bit her lip on the side. "And here I was hoping to get to know you guys better." She twirled one of her long jet black pony tails as she spoke thinking, reminding Max of the blonde cheerleader that he'd seen with Jane once. She wasn't as young as he had first thought when he'd looked at her, seeing her now and looking past the make-up he could see that there was knowledge in those eyes, like she was working something out.

"Yeah, for what?" he was as offhanded as he could be.

"Well, I have a confession," she leaned in revealing a slight bit of cleavage in an attempt to ingratiate herself with him, "I do a little online blogging and I was hoping to get in on the ground floor of the music industry with ousting you guys as the next big thing. It would really help me out." She blinked the long fake lashes in an enticing manner.

(v/o) Why us though?

"I know you're probably wondering why you guys, but honestly, you guys were the newest thing to hit here and I really need something to get people to take notice of my blog." During her little admission, she'd dispensed with the theatrics of behaving like a groupie and had stood straighter, instead of the incessant swinging and twirling her hair, and her voice had taken on a more authoritive tone.

(v/o) That's better. Hello to the real you.

"What are you proposing exactly?" Max was curious about where this was headed.

"I follow you guys around and do posts and you guys give me an exclusive and behind the scenes stuff?"

He studied her for a moment, still unconvinced and sensing something more. She shifted slightly in the black high heeled boots under his easy going scrutiny.

"…..also, anyone in the business knows that if Brad or Brett are interested in you, then you're pretty much golden. They are the 'go to guys' for finding new and up-coming talent in this business. They must see potential in you guys." She stared at Max a few moments more.

"I'll talk to the guys and see what they say." Max continued after taking the card that she'd extended and watched in his peripheral as she went to a car and left.

"Who's that?" Nick came up to Max and as he as carefully as possible put the large drum cases in the storage compartments that he had claimed for his set specifically.

"A reporter that wants an exclusive with us. Apparently we are on our way to the top," he joked with a smile towards his longtime friend.

"No doubt." They gave their own knuckle to knuckle sign that they'd come up with so long ago after they'd beaten a particularly hard level of Mario. Since then, it had been regulated to be a symbol for when things were cool or on the track towards being cool for them. "So what'd you tell her?"

"That I had to talk to you guys first. What do you think?"

Nick shrugged.

"Sounds good to me. I mean it ain't like we have the paparazzi following us. Just see what Trent and Jesse say. Should be cool, but on to more important things. I got us lined up at this party- These chicks have this place that they say is ready for a party- and with all the stuff that we need to get down and dirty with." Nick was proud of this easy feat, as underscored by the smug smile that he had plastered across his face.

Max looked at his friend recognizing the slightly glazed look in his eyes as a sign that he was already feeling the effects of a slight buzz. He wasn't really in a party mood- well, not like that anyway. He just wanted to have a good time and talk to Stacey before going to bed, but he also didn't want to be one of those guys that changed just because he got a girlfriend- especially not with Nick. He and Nick were like brothers, for better or worse, partying together had always been their thing, but now he had Stacy and her feelings to think about.

"Don't worry," Nick clamped a hand on Max's shoulder and steered him back to help with the rest of the equipment, "I promise not to taint your new 'pure' image." He laughed loudly at the image that he'd conjured with that statement, imagining Max in a white wedding dress.

"What?" Max was perplexed as the headed back to the back stage area.


	4. And A Good Time Was Had By All

Trent's journal

Second show was awesome too. We even got a mention in the local paper. My girl was ecstatic- she did a full on smile complete with laugh and slight snort. For her, that's the equivalent to running naked in the streets…..Now that would be something else to see…..I don't know if she's doing it for my benefit, or if it's just because I'm in love- wow, I know that I've told her, but I think that this is the first time that I have written it down and seen it in print- I AM IN LOVE WITH HER- humph….nice, but anyway, it's the way that she has been looking when we do our v-chats…..she always looks so- so- well, hot. I know without a doubt that I miss the sexual aspect of us, a LOT, but knowing how she doesn't do the whole in the mirror thing the way most girls do has me wondering what the heck is going on, not that I'm complaining. It isn't that she's wearing heavy make-up or revealing clothes- wouldn't mind the latter- it's more like when she talks and looks at me she gets this look in her eyes that spreads all over her, especially when she's talking about anything concerning her writing. Of course seeing her in one of my old faded green tees only made me want to be there all the more so that I could rip it away and have my complete and utter way with her, again and again and…..well you get the idea. Sometimes my desire for her is so great it makes me feel a bit…..depraved, I guess. Primal is probably a better word though not completely void of depravity. I thought it might scare her at first, but quite honestly she surprised me by matching me in that particular area. I guess I had her in what she would probably call some kind of glass box. Sure I could take her out to look at her, even kiss her but I was afraid of being too rough with her, too real so I would keep her safe and carefully place her back in the box. I didn't realize that I- we had contributed in creating our own personal kinds torturous hells by putting ourselves on display right next to each other, but never allowing the humanity of physical touch. I've gotta get her off my mind, 'specially since it will be a few weeks 'til I can even try to see her…..

Jesse, Nick, and Max went to this party at this girl's house and by house I mean manor. It was the kind of thing that you dream about when you're a kid or see on a video, but you don't think that you'll be a part of in real life. There was something there for just about every kind of party goer and it was all done with style. Nick had hooked up with one of the owners, or both of them Cindi and Candi. They giggled a lot; I couldn't tell if it were the drugs or just how they were, either way about five seconds in and it got to be annoying as hell. Jesse was being 'entertained' by a group of girls that were trying to impress him or whatever, while Max was engaged in some kind of debate on who the best drummer of all time is…..or were. Max was trying, more calmly than usual, to convince everyone that would listen that it was Neil Peart, while everyone else had their own thoughts that ranged from Buddy Rich to Mike Portnoy. I had long ago gotten him off of my back on that particular argument when I had let him have his say on the why's and how comes he chose his artist when I told him who my favorite drummer of all time was and always would be. The way he immersed himself in the beat so completely and was able to pull in anyone listening by feeling as though you were completely out of control only to realize that you were willingly trapped in tune of his mind was like magic. That's why Animal- you know, of the Muppets- will forever be my favorite drummer of all time. He just looked at me and walked away. Jesse said that he either completely respects and is in awe of my choice or thinks that I'm a lost cause on the subject. Either way….The members of Fix were scattered about enjoying themselves as well. All in all everyone was having a good time and Brad was there being ever watchful to make sure that things didn't get out of hand.

Morning…..

"Coffee?" Max offered the hung over forms of Nick, Jesse, and Trent when they had finally stumbled out of bed. He poured each of them a cup with a slight smirk taking their grumblings as assent.

"Shut up," Nick muttered towards his longtime friend as he took the cup.

"I didn't say anything," was the humor laden reply.

Nick frowned after taking a sip of the sugarless coffee and proceeded to pile some of the sweet stuff.

"So Jesse, who'd you end up with the red head or the blonde?" Max placed the pot in front of the guitarist noting that he'd opted not to wear the traditional hung over shades, favoring instead the use of some eye drops, water, and strong coffee. This was not his first time at this rodeo.

"Why would I have to choose?"

"My man," Nick said with a lot more joviality than he actually felt. "What about you Trent? Anything interesting happen, now that you're taken?"

Trent looked at them from over the rim of his cup.

(v/o) I love these assholes….

"I played outdrink," he smirked thinking back on it.

"I take it you're still the reigning champion?"

He did a mock bow, to which he winced, in Max's general direction. They could never understand how someone his size could outdrink guys two or three times his size. Heck, he didn't understand it either and rarely indulged, but occasionally he would feel the need to be 'one of the guys' and do his thing.

"Devon did hold his own for a while though," Trent conceded slightly remembering some of the conversation that had happen between Devon and himself.

"Oh, yeah there's this reporter that wants to follow us around and give us reviews on her blog. I told her that I would have to run it by you guys first," Max remembered producing the card that had been given to him.

"Cool with me," Jesse lounged back trying to remember what was in the fridge- if anything.

"Me too, I'll run it by Brad and make sure though," Trent said sticking the card in his pocket. He got up and went to the small fridge to study its contents.

(v/o) Did we really eat everything? Shit, better get to that mart down the road and get some supplies. 

"I'm gonna head to that store down the road for supplies," Trent wanted to get there and back as soon as possible. We rehearse this afternoon at three so be ready guys."

Trent left with a slight spring in his step feeling the cool crisp air around him.


	5. Getting Down To Buisiness

Trent's Journal

Brad agreed to let that journalist Valerie do her thing, provided he got final approval on what she put out there. Sounds legit and good press is always a good thing or so 'they' say. Things have really started to accelerate around here. We are having to do a lot of fine tuning on the newer stuff, so that keeps us busy in between because the dates are closer together now. Brad said that the beginning were kind of like feelers being put out there to test the waters on us or something….makes sense I guess. No sense in investing heavy in something that won't make you anything, man am I glad that it worked out okay, otherwise that probably would have just paid us out of the contract and sent us on our way. I really appreciate Brad laying it on the line like that; he seems to be a stand up kind of guy, that's a rare thing especially in this business. I haven't talked to my girl, 'cept for some short texts. Our schedules have not synced up to v-chat…..that blows man. I've worn out the edges of that old photo of her that I took that night when she moved in with Janey and she was feeling particularly adventurous. She had surprised me by wanting to make a video- I still can't believe that she did that- then she surprised me further by agreeing to take a picture for me on an old instant camera of Janey's (I didn't think that those were around anymore). She wasn't wearing anything, but you couldn't tell that from the picture since it was only of her head and shoulders with her hands over her head- my idea and completely brilliant- I knew it though and I thought it only fair since she would not let me keep the one copy of our video with me. Quinn left me this message, more like crazy list of instructions about the website and what to do or not do and how she and Brad had set up some kind of online live chat session with fans for right after the next session of concerts. They are really banking a lot on us…..I won't let them down. Anyway gotta practice again. Who would have thought that being this tired from work could feel good?

Practice with The Spiral:

Hush now,

Cry no more

Safety is here, in these arms

Struggle not with the pain

Share it with me

For I will shoulder it all

Hush now,

No need for tears

Safety is here, to allay your fears

I will hold you

Keep you safe

I will shelter you

From the pain

Until all hurt is erased, so….

Hush now…

Hush now….

Hush…..now…..

"Songs a little soft, don't cha think?" Nick asked after all sounds had faded out. "It's nice, but more like a lullaby for a kid or something."

Trent looked at each of the members and had to kind of agree. He liked the song, but it probably didn't go with the set that they had. The set was more geared towards dark pulsating beats with a slow urbanesque feel; it was rawer and at times dirty. This song was kind of like a cleansing for him. He needed that sometimes, to drive away some of the darkness that could seep in to the recesses of his mind whenever he felt too caught up in his musings on the dark thoughts in his head and the world around him. He had systematically chosen to write on things that were important to him, but not as dark in nature to avoid the murkiness that he saw other artists sink into. Sure he would get in a funk sometimes, but he wouldn't descend into the depressive mood swings that he had seen others fall into. He found himself willing to plunge deeper into things now; he wanted to know more about his feelings and what they meant, whether in writing his music or whatever, he just wanted to know.

"Okay, let's do 'Shower', only Jesse, you take the lead on that one and I'll get the underlay."

Jesse gave a curt nod of assent and they began the seductive melody. Max came in first with a soft beat coming from alternating between the ride cymbal and the snare, then came Nick and Trent with Jesse singing the lead.

"That was good, but how about on the second verse we switch up to you going back to lead Trent?" Jesse's voice in the band was normally more as following direction, but with Trent's encouragement, he had made more suggestions and become slowly more comfortable with this kind of contribution. "I just think that the duality of our voices changing will give the feel of each person's perspective."

"I get it man. Let's do it again like you suggested."

The Spiral continued practicing making changes back and forth as to what worked and what didn't until much later than they usually did and all felt the need to grab some grub.


	6. A Bands Gotta Do, What A Bands Gotta Do

"Jane! Get in here!" her roommate yelled out to her. Jane hurried into the room, unaccustomed to hearing urgency of any kind from her friend and this time there was something alarming- fear in her voice. She looked to the TV that her friends now chalk white face was facing and listened to the reporter.

"-and we are still here as a community rallies together with the heroic efforts of the young men known as The Spiral and the local firefighters. Nicholas Campbell, Max Tyler, Jesse Moreno, and Trent Lane, members of the band The Spiral decided to go out for something to eat after a grueling day of practice and it's a good thing that they did. On their way back to the tour bus they came across a burning building and became heroes…."

The two ladies looked at the charred remains behind the reporter and then looked at each other briefly before returning their attention to the television. They each had their phones in their hands and were trying to reach one of the members, to no avail. The panic within them grew as they saw the ambulances with the gurneys that held people whose faces they see being put onto them.

"Come on guys pick up dammit!" Jane muttered mirroring the urgency growing between them.

Roadside…..

"Excuse me, Lois Toccer, Channel 9 reporter here. How does it feel to be a hero?" the reporter shoved the microphone in the young man's face.

The young man looked at her somewhat dazed.

"Hero? I'm no-"

"Nick is still in there," Jesse panted as he and the fireman carried out a largely obese man that looked to have either twisted or broken his ankle.

The young man took off back into the burning building to find his friend. He called out for Nick as best he could trying not to inhale all of the smoke that billowed around him.

"Nick! Nick!"

"We're in here!"

He followed the voice to an apartment that had the door blocked by some debris that must have fallen in front of it.

(v/o) Shit!

He started kicking away the hot pieces of debris as he spoke.

"Hey Nick, is there a window that you can go out of or something?"

"It has bars man and I got two kids here. They're really scared." He looked at the little boy and girl. "It'll be okay. We'll get you out of here."

(v/o) I hope…..

"Try to open the door and let some of the stuff fall in while I get move some from over here. Maybe we can make enough room from the top for you guys to crawl through. And Nick- work fast man."

He didn't have to tell him twice Nick had begun as soon as his friend spoke the words. Soon he was joined by a firefighter that wanted him to leave, but he just kept working and the fireman saw no point in wasting time, joined him using the portable shovel. They worked in tandem as the building threatened to collapse on them and they were soon rewarded with an opening. The little girl went through first, then the little boy, and then Nick. The kids clung to Nicks legs as the fireman and Trent held a weakened Nick up by the shoulders and led him out the door. The little boy and girl stayed close to Nick while the EMT's provided everyone with oxygen and the police tried to figure out where the children's parents were.

"Mom's at work," the little boy said fearfully. "Our aunt was supposed to stay but-" He looked at the police officer and the struggle to remain strong and free of tears was evident.

"It's okay dude," Nick urged placing a hand on the kids shoulder. He looked at the officer. "Their mom's at work and I told their Aunt that I would be there- and I would have, but I wanted to surprise them with some ice cream, so I was a little late. Ice cream's melted by now though….."

"You- you're supposed be watching them?" the officer asked skeptically seeing through Nick's rouse, but understanding at the same time.

"Yeah, me and the little one here usually have a kick ass- I mean a good time whenever I come through with the guys."

"You know this guy?" he asked the kids. They looked from one to the other and the boy nodded slowly.

"Uncle Nick. He's cool."

The officer looked at the ten year old and then to the young man that had aided in their rescue. He didn't believe them, but he knew that the young man was trying to keep the mom out of trouble with DFACS over this horrible accident.

"Okay." He went on to help with the others while keeping a watchful eye on the kids. The little girl was looking at everyone with the saddest most lost expression that he had ever seen. She was clinging to her brother and that Nick kid- er, young man.

"Hey, kid. What's your name?" Nick asked the little boy.

"Samuel and she's my sister Bedilia."

"Look, I only lied to the officer over there because-"

"I know. Mom said if we were by ourselves we would get in trouble. That's why Aunt Sharon was supposed to stay, but her boyfriend came by and he's not allowed in the house anymore." He looked down at his feet then at his sister uncertain. "She works at the factory at night because it pays more. She doesn't get off until seven in the morning. What's gonna happen to me and my sister?"

"Okay, we'll figure out something…..promise."

"Sam," the small voice of the little girl interrupted, "I want mom." She burst into tears then and the little boy for all the strength that he had shown up until then, looked at Nick helplessly.

"It'll be okay," Nick tried to console the child, but she buried her face in her brother's shirt and cried harder.

"Hey….." Trent turned to enter the conversation that he had been listening to. "Someone so pretty should never have to cry like that." The girl's cries slowed to soft sobs and she peeked over her arm at Trent's smiling, smoke riddled friendly face. "You know, it's okay to cry when you need to, but you're safe now, so…" He began to softly sing. "Hush now…..cry no more…." Nick, Jesse, and Max joined in one by one humming and providing soft back up in soothing tones to the song that they'd dismissed earlier at practice. He finished as softly as he'd begun and although she still held on to her brother, Bedilia had looked at Trent and Nick with a bit less anxiety in her eyes.

"Hey guys, I got here as fast as I could," Brad broke his way through the crowd. "You guys okay?"

"Yeah, we were coming back from that diner and this building was on fire. They needed help….." Trent explained.

(v/o) And of course you guys rushed in head first. Wonderful idiots that you are…..so cool.

"Hey Brad," Nick motioned for him to lean in since he didn't want to move away from the kids. He spoke to him in the ear as quietly as possible; the rest of the guys pretty much knew what it was about and no one would disagree. Everyone needed help sometimes.

(v/o) Where did these guys come from? People don't do nice things for nothing, right? Everyone has an angle. Shit, could be good press though. Working the hero aspect of things…..

Brad worked his magic with the officers and once everyone had been cleared they found themselves at the local hotel that Brad had found to accommodate everyone. Trent went to answer the knock at the door. He knew it was the kid's mother as soon as he saw her. The little girl looked just like her and the little boy had the same dark brown eyes and facial expression. Trent gestured to the bed where they were sleeping exhausted from the earlier events. The woman went to the bed and after checking on them and resisting the urge to smother them with kisses and wake them, she sat beside them and began to silently cry. Nick, who had been sitting in the chair beside them aimlessly flipping the muted TV channels looked at the woman and through her he could see the struggle of so many single parents that had to make the hard choices and do things that they didn't want to everyday.

"The hospital checked 'em out. They're okay."

She snapped her head up and wiped her eyes as though just realizing that he was there.

"Thank you," her voice was quiet, but showed strength. "I- we'll be out of your way in just-"

"It's okay," Trent's voice drifted in behind her. "Brad, he's our manger, he took care of everything for the week. He said that the insurance company should have someone take care of everyone in the building by then if not sooner.

She nodded with relief. She hadn't known what she was going to do when she left there. She had no family nearby, to speak of, and no friends that were any better off than her.

"I'm Trent and that guy in the chair is Nick."

"Hi. –oh, and my name is Elizabeth. Elizabeth Dexter."

"Well, we'll leave you with your kids. We're in the rooms to your right if you need anything," Trent offered.

"Is it okay if I come and say hi to them in the morning?" Nick asked before leaving.

"By morning he means noon," Trent gently corrected.

"Of course," Elizabeth closed the door behind them and turned to the room once again grateful for the strangers that had turned out to be her kids guardian angels in more ways than one this evening.


	7. Just Trent Thinking

Trent's Journal

I have seen her mad, but never directly at me. She was really pissed- REALLY! I get it though, finding out that I was involved in a fire from the television isn't an ideal thing, but hell it ain't like I planned it. We were coming back from getting some food and from there everything just happened…..for future reference, 'just happened' is not a good excuse to her. She sounded angry, but she looked scared on our v-chat and scared wasn't something that she showed. Embarrassment or nervousness, occasionally, but not scared. I did my best to reassure her, but I tell ya, this whole thing makes me a bit anxious to see her as well. Janey was pissed that I didn't call too, but who the hell knew that they would see it on the news? I thought the news cast was different for each town or something, so why would they be watching any news except for where they are at? I love 'em and they love me, so that's where it all comes from…..

It seems that everyone is all excited about what happened…..weird though….yeah, we helped save some folks, but firefighters do that all the time. It's not like we did it all by ourselves or anything. Quinn added everything to our page and she says that someone recorded us singing to Bedilia and the video went viral. She is a pretty cute kid, so I guess that was it. Brad and Quinn have been conferring 'a lot' and he wants us to do a spot at Paul's fashion show to build on the momentum of this publicity and promote the concert. I don't mind doing the show, but I don't want to be known as 'singing heroes' or some other lame as thing. It's supposed to be about the music…..

Nick really took a liking to little Bedilia and Sam. He spent the whole day with 'em and offered to keep them for their mom to have some time to herself, but she said no. I think that she felt like she would be imposing or something. He fell into a bit of a funk after that though not that much of a surprise there, he probably started back thinking about what happened with his kid, not that he didn't ever think about it, but he was coping the best he could. Shit, now I'm thinking about it…..and Monique…..wonder if she thinks about what happened with us. We never talked about it…All these fuckin' morbid thoughts, no wonder Nick went down the wrong path, almost did the same thing but lucky for me the guys saw to it that I didn't…..

We took the day afterwards to kick back for the most part, but did have a late practice. Max spent the better part of the day on the phone with Stacey trying to reassure her and mapping out how they would meet up during the rest of the tour. Jesse slept, got up, ate, and slept some more 'til practice…..like old times there. I'm gonna call her again, kind of need to hear her voice.


	8. Then Along Came Val

"Where's the professional curtesy here?" Valerie was clearly upset that she hadn't been consulted, or at the very least informed about the latest happenings in The Spiral's tour and subsequent activities.

Brad looked at her with barely concealed patience. In truth he had forgotten all about her. Quinn had been doing such an outstanding job promoting the band's website and linking anything good to it- and for free. This- this- Valerie had insinuated herself into a prime position where she could have had a first-hand account of everything and she was the one that had blown it.

"You wanted to be the on the road reporter; why should I have to do your job for you?"

She bit her bottom lip. Part of her knew that he was right, but damn it, didn't they have an agreement that counted for something? She turned to walk away, having lost all of her steam.

(v/o) I should just give up. I don't know how my mom did this kind of thing. Maybe I just don't have that killer instinct like she did…..

"Look," Brads voice made her turn back to face him, "why don't you get some shots of them, they're rehearsing now, and just talk to them about what happened, you know real up close and personal like. Then you can get Quinn to link it to their fan page; it's bound to help you out." Brad felt a little bad for the girl, she was kind of like a fish out of water.

"Okay….." Valerie left the bus slowly with every intention of getting in her car and going back home.

(v/o) Maybe I'll get a job at the library back home….Mom- or rather sis, wouldn't let this defeat her, of course she wouldn't have let a perfect opportunity for notoriety slip through her fingers either. Smart move letting yourself get distracted by some guy that didn't even remember your name. Well I guess that's something me and mom have in common. Well at least I didn't let him knock me up because the guy that I wanted had left me for someone younger and then spent the child's entire life passing her off as a sister.

"What's shakin' Val?" Jesse's voice broke through maudlin thoughts.

(v/o) That would be my narcissistic mother's name…..her and that antiquated magazine that were both as far from the life of the average teenager than her mother's true age.

"The name is Valerie and what's shakin'? Not me. I'm packing it in…"

"Why?" He eyed the young lady that was close to his height and wore her dark hair in a long ponytail that hung more than halfway down her back.

"Oh, 'cause I suck at it. I'm not my mom….." she mumbled the last more to herself, but he heard her.

"Why do you have to be?" Jesse straightened slightly from where he'd been leaning and waiting for everyone to come back from their fifteen minute breaks. "Just do what you like."

(v/o) Clearly, you don't know my mom.

"She's not big on giving up."

(v/o) She looks so miserable.

"Do you really want to do this?"

"Yeah, I do, but I missed the whole hero thing. What kind of reporter misses out on a story like that?"

"You made a mistake, big deal. Just try again."

"You make it sound so simple." She looked at him gratefully. "Thanks."

"Anytime," he gave her a slight smile and wink before joining the guys as they approached.

"Jesse," he turned back to her, "Could we talk a little later?"

He gave a curt nod and they all parted ways. The band went back to practice and she went to prepare for her first interview with one Jesse Moreno.


	9. The Interview

(v/o) So I've been trying to get each member of The Spiral into their respective boy band categories and so far…..

The Bad Boy - 

The Boy Next Door - 

The Dreamboat - 

The Glue - 

The Shy One – 

It seems to me that any of them could fit any of these categories depending on what's going on with the dynamic of the group at any given time. They have such a laid back and easy repo ire with one another, not that everything is always sunshine and giggles, it's just even when they argue, you know that it all comes from a place of knowing one another and being able to be one's self….. Like family.

Valerie frowned at what she'd written so far.

(v/o) Sounds more like a groupie than a reporter. Where's the hard hitting cutting edge stuff? 

(v/o) Surely they have to have something juicier than being nice guys and good Samaritans….. Her mother's voice taunted her thoughts.

"Where you headed?"

"Oh, Jesse has a date with your girl," Nick informed Max with a resounding slap on the shoulder when they saw Jesse exiting the bus. Jesse shook his head as he left and headed to meet up with Valerie.

"Come in," Valerie was seated on the tiny sofa in her hotel room still trying to come up with possible questions when she heard Jesse's knock. She watched him enter and seat himself adjacent to her on the couch. She had to marvel at the ease with which he carried himself as he reclined and leveled a gaze at her. "Hello Mr. Moreno- or may I call you Jesse?"

He shrugged with indifference.

"Why don't you start by telling me a little about yourself?"

"Like what?" He couldn't imagine anything interesting about himself that she would want to write about.

"How did you guys get together and become The Spiral?"

Jesse relayed the story of how he and Trent became friends early on and the subsequent additions of Max and Nick. It was a story he had told to plenty a girl as filler to impress and personalize, not that it worked but it did pass the time while they made up their mind…..about where things would go. She wished that she could read his eyes, but he had on those stupid shades.

(v/o) Think of something dang it!

"So you got someone special back home- or somewhere?"

"Nah, no attachments to speak of. It keeps things simple."

(v/o) Something in his tone…..there was someone.

"What kind of things?"

"Well, you can't break a promise if you never made one in the first place."

"…..and you have a problem keeping promises?"

"No. I just don't bother making 'em if I don't plan on keeping 'em."

"So girls are disposable to you?"

He removed his shades and looked at her levelly.

"Women are incredible. They should always be respected and treated well."

(v/o) Right…..

"Single, easy on the eyes, and respectful of the ladies. Sounds too good to be true." Jesse's face remained the same. "Do you have a favorite musician or group?"

"Not particularly."

(v/o) Come on give me something here.

"So tell me about the first person that you fell in love with. What was she like?"

(v/o) What was that look?

"You don't have to use a name or anything," Valerie added quickly at his hesitance.

"The first time I saw her she hit me on the back of the head." He smiled at the memory and at Valerie's look he explained, "I had unknowingly started eating the sandwich that apparently belonged to her."

(v/o) Apparently, a habit I never grew out of.

"What kind of person is she?"

"She's the kind of person….." he sighed. He was just tired of thinking about it- about her- about the whole situation. "She's the kind that's taken."

(v/o) And you clearly haven't gotten over her, not that it's stopping you from enjoying the women that come on to you. Definitely bad boy material there.

"What about you?" his question was sudden and startled her a bit.

"Me? What about me?"

"Your first love?"

"I'm the one doing the interview remember?"

"Hey, gotta give to get."

Valerie smiled genuinely at him. Flippancy was not his strong suite. She could see why the ladies would be attracted to him though. He was very easy to talk to and easy on the eyes.

"He was…..a friend."

(v/o) My only friend.

"We were inseparable, until my mother found out." She was quiet for so long that Jesse thought that she might not continue, but he remained silent and finally she did. "He surprised me by wanting to take me to the park. It was the single best day of my life. It turns out there was a carnival and we rode the rides and wandered around having so much fun. I hadn't been around so many people at one time in all my life. I was giddy with so much joy. It was late when we returned." She swallowed hard. "I didn't even know that my mother was back in town, but she was and she was waiting. He kissed me good night and when turned around there she was in all of her glory. I never saw him again after that night."

Images of his father yelling at his mother while he hid in the closet or under the bed flickered through his mind.

"She sent you away to school or something?" his voice was quiet, comforting.

"No." she looked at him as she felt awash with the past. "That would have been such a welcome relief. I remained at the house- tutored and completely sequestered from just about anyone in any one on one situation. I only met or spoke to people when she was present."

(v/o) That's a whole new level of crazy with a capital 'K'.

"So how'd you break free?"

"She had an allergic reaction to some medication from one of her cosmetic surgeries while we were at lunch one day and they wouldn't let me ride in the ambulance with her. I had the car take me to meet her and she was rushed into surgery….." She looked down at her hands. "I was sitting there in the waiting room and I genuinely had no idea what to do or what I would do if the worst thing happened, so I did the only thing that I had ever seen done, I acted like her. I told the driver to go back to the house and pick up some things that I would have the maid gather- my mother's personals and my bag because I would be staying the night- to take care of her. They had no idea that the bag that they brought me was the escape bag that I kept packed. I made several trips to the ATM using my mother's cards and got as much cash as I could, but there are daily limitations and I knew that once she was lucid enough, I would miss my window of opportunity. I did wait until I knew that she was okay before I left." She didn't know what to expect when she looked back at Jesse, but what she saw was compassion and understanding. "We should- I should- the interview needs to get back on course." She needed to shake off the past and quickly.

"I like a good sandwich."

"What?"

"Don't people like to know that kind of stuff about musicians? Their favorite foods and stuff?"

"Ah, yeah they do. Please continue." Valerie was relieved to return to the safety of their original conversation for the duration of their time.


	10. Missing You

Trent sat under the tree, eyes closed, guitar in hand playing a delicate tune as he softly sang…..

Someday…..

So you've found yourself your forever,

Whatever…..

I guess I should be happy for you

I suppose I am, in my own way

Whatever…..

Everyone finds their mate someday

That's what you always said

But when will my someday be…..now?

But when will my someday be…..now?

It was a fraction of a song that he'd tinkered with back and forth over the years. He would revisit it whenever his thoughts weren't were he felt they should be and soon enough things would right themselves.

"Who was she?"

He opened his eyes to see Valerie's form hoovering near him.

"What's up Valerie?"

"Just wanted to get a few questions in. In the song you just sang, who is she?"

"Musicians write about the things and events that inspire them. Sometimes it's not about any one person." He stood and dusted off his backside as he did so.

(v/o) So you don't want to say…..

"Okay, why don't you tell me about yourself?"

Valerie spent some time going over some questions with Trent before The Spiral's afternoon rehearsal and from there she spoke with Nick, and then Max.

Phone conversation…..

"Hi."

"Sup." He lay back on the bed in his quarters and closed his eyes to imagine how she looked when she spoke. "Are you okay? You seem…..down."

"I just miss you and I hate that I miss you because it makes me feel weak or something." Her need to see him was greater than she thought that it could be. It surprised her, but in a good way.

"Well I am glad that you miss me, 'cause I miss you too. I need to see you, hold you….." He was finding it harder and harder to keep thoughts of her from creeping into the corners of everything that he did. "Next stop and I am all yours. We are still meeting up…..aren't we?"

"Mom wanted to take me shopping….." her voice trailed slightly forlornly, but then the lightness returned, "I told her that I had some very important work to take care of."

He gave a relieved chuckle.

"That wasn't nice."

"But it was funny. Not funny ha ha, but funny right?"

"Yeah, I guess he relented slightly." He needed this- her and that way that she could talk about a million different things at once, but always brought it back to them.

"So how's that Valerie person working out?"

"Fine I guess. We all did a one on one interview and we're gonna do a group one later."

"You guys are really taking off. Must be a lot of…..fans milling around."

He chuckled to himself.

"I see them blindly my dear. What about you?"

"Me? I am entirely too busy with my studies to worry about anything other than you."

(v/o) Good answer.

"I should let you get back to it. I know that this is your study time, but I needed to hear your voice."

"I needed to hear yours too, so thanks. It's like you knew what I needed before I did." Her voice held the same tone as his. They missed one another.

"I can't wait to see you. Talk to you later, bye Stacey."

"I can't wait to see you too. Good night Max."


	11. Backstage

Dressing room…..

"Come in," Trent said to the knock at the door without looking back. He was trying, unsuccessfully to find his cell phone so that he could let her know how great everything had went tonight. The crowd had been beyond amped up and The Spiral was thriving in the spotlight. Barry was booking them all kinds of extra shows and even some private parties, really upscale clients- the likes of which they never thought that they would ever meet, let alone be requested to play for.

(v/o) Where the hell did Jesse put it?

"Maybe I could help you, find what you need." The voice was that of a very feminine vixen, meant to tempt. Trent didn't even bother to look back.

(v/o) Best not to give her any ideas.

"I think you've got the wrong room. Fix is down the hall."

"The only 'fix' I need is you."

"I've got someone, so I'm really not interested," Trent moved on to check the pockets of the jacket hanging off the chair.

"Oh, I think you might be a little interested." Her tone was still sultry and confident.

(v/o) Did she just-

He heard the unmistakable sound of a zipper and immediately after he saw a shirt followed by skirt go flying to the floor by his foot.

Hallway…..

"I really don't see the problem," Barry was speaking to Jesse's retreating form. "I did the guy a favor," he called behind him as he stopped to take a call while Jesse bee lined it to the dressing room and pound on the door.

(v/o) Freakin' idiot. The guy's faithful but he's been on the road for months. Why would you dangle a steak in front of a starving bear?

"Trent let me in. Brad sent some chick in there for you-"

"I know, it's cool man." Trent's voice said from somewhere inside the locked room.

"Dude- is she in there?"

"-uh, yeah. I'll see you back at the hotel."

(v/o) You're thinking with the wrong head man.

"Just open the door man."

"I got this Jesse."

"Trent," Jesse was frustrated with his friend's stubbornness, "I don't think 'the bookworm' would like this."

The door opened slightly and Trent blocked Jesse's line of sight, while an unmistakable monotone voice spoke.

"The bookworm doesn't mind Jesse."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Trent smirked and effectively shut and relocked the door to Jesse's surprised face.

"That was sweet of Jesse trying to save you from corruption," she said to Trent's advancing figure.

(v/o) Right now, I could care less about anything other than ridding you of that bra and thong.

He pulled her body to the length of his.

(v/o) Soft, she's soft fucking soft and she smells so….. Good. Her mouth, I cannot get enough of her mouth.

Heated kisses in between the impatient discarding of the remainder of their clothes found the couple on the couch. He sat with her in his lap, her legs wrapped firmly around him further securing the feel of him sheathed in the warmth of her body. Their eyes locked and each was struck again by the exquisiteness of their union. He shifted slightly and they both moaned as the need that had built between them took hold. They allowed their bodies to give and take of the pleasures that the other gave. It was like no other; both felt it. Lyrist and writer, found themselves once again at a loss to put to words this connection between them. To call it love seemed too simple when the feelings were so strong and true. Yet, it was love, a living and breathing entity between them, born from them- as real and as alive as anything they would ever feel. Their eyes found each other's again as they both allowed their climaxes to fall away. They remained in each other's arms- it had been too long.

"…..Trent, my Trent."

"I am yours always my love."

"And I am your for as long as you'll have me."

"Then it is settled. You're mine for all of time and beyond."

"And you are mine."

They smirked tinged with a slight laughter for a few moments more before reluctantly getting redressed and leaving for the hotel.


	12. Tyler and Rowe

Two days was not enough. Not enough time to say everything, to feel everything, to convey all that they felt, but it was all they had for now…..

(v/o) His fingers can be so delicate, especially now gliding up my spine. It's so crazy this feeling that bubbles up inside me whenever I think of him- which is all the time.

"Morning gorgeous," Max nuzzled Stacey's neck slightly causing her to giggle. She rolled over to face him with a broad smile, taking much of the covers from her side.

"Good morning."

They kissed and he found that his initial desire to take her downstairs and show her off at breakfast had somewhat ebbed. He would much rather stay locked in this room for as long as possible.

"What cha thinking 'bout?"

(v/o) Having an encore performance of you and me from last night to be repeated until we're both passed out.

"You."

She giggled turning her head slightly.

"I should make sure that you get some breakfast in you." Max suggested but made no effort to move. Seeing her in the newness of morning, no make-up, her hair fanned out on the pillow, and wearing that smile that lights up any room filled him with something that he couldn't name, but liked it.

"Okay," she tugged slightly at the tee he wore and he leaned in to receive what he thought was a kiss, but she whispered near his ear first, "but, I'd much rather have some more of you in me first." He stood up and quickly tossed the shirt aside and the rest followed suite before he rejoined her in the bed.

Stacey's head swam with so many thoughts. She couldn't believe that she'd just said that out loud- well, whispered in his ear, but she'd said it nonetheless. She had made great strides to boost her confidence since high school and for the most part it had worked, but old insecurities die hard and it was especially hard with guys. Through the fashion club, it had been ingrained in her to view boys as a sport and the trick was to dangle yourself out there and get the right ones to try and pursue you until you had them under your thumb, but then what? She'd often ask herself, but she had no answers so she just followed Sandi's lead- come hell or high water. This was not the case with Max. He had stopped to try and help her fix her car when she was on the side of the road and they had started talking.

Right now Max was fascinated with the light sprinkling of freckles that were on her collar bone. His goal was to kiss each and every one of them while she writhed beneath him, trying to entice him into getting straight to action, but he wanted to savor a bit more.

(v/o) Don't worry Stacey, I want it too.

She looped a leg around his and ground her hips to his. His moan into her shoulder was her reward.

(v/o) So you want to tease…..

She continued to rotate her hips against him in small circles, much like hula hooping, only on your back, while her hands gripped his backside so that there was no way to avoid this torturous delight- not that he would have wanted to, but she wanted to get the advantage. He kissed her softly at first. His hand traveled down her neckline to cup a breast and flick the nipple slightly. The slightness in her deviation of movement gave him the opportunity to shift himself down so that his mouth could claim his hands prize.

"Ohm….."

(v/o) That feels wonderful…..

Her body resumed its rhythmic movements and her hands had clutched the back of his head, so much so that she had to relax them a bit when he'd gave a slight tug of one arm.

(v/o) It'd be a hell of a way to go though: Death by breasts!

He brought his mouth back to hers in a much fiercer kiss than before that she was more than prepared to match. Their positioning was just right so that when they joined it felt like the build-up of their heat was magnified. With each grunt ridden thrust, lip biting 'oh', impassioned 'yes', or fingernail digging 'like that' they worked their way down a path that led to every firework that either had imagined, all of which went off into an session of explosions that led to their climax.

(v/o) Wow, I mean just….wow.

They never made it to breakfast, but found that they had to have some kind of sustenance for lunch- they were late for that too, but very happy.


	13. The Party

What others did after the concert….. 

"Told you I did him a favor," Brad said with a very self-satisfied smile to Jesse.

"You could have just said that his girl was in there." Jesse gave a side long look at the suit donned young man.

"Where's the fun in that?" Brad laughed. He liked Jesse; the guy was quiet and observant and as loyal as they came. The chicks ate that stuff up like crazy.

They were headed to the party that Nick had scoped out via the green haired young lady that had latched on to him after the concert. Brad had promised them two days off, but they would be picking up the pace nonstop once again after that. He had packed in so many extra dates that the tour date calendar that was once so neat and organized now resembled chaos on paper. This was not just a good thing, it was excellent. It meant they were in demand and the people wanted more. That social media page that Quinn did had become a mecca for all kinds of things inclusive of The Spiral. That Quinn was really on top of things, especially with the 'harmonic heroes' bit from the fire rescue that she'd put there on loop. Brad had taken to forwarding her any and all pertinent information and talking largely through email on how things were to be done. It stupefied him that she did all of this in 'her spare time' and for her sister's boyfriend. He had insisted that she take some kind of salary, to avoid any kind of messiness later and she'd finally relented and had taken a very basic amount.

"What's your preference?" Brad asked checking his look in the mirror before they got out of the rental.

"Huh"

"Chicks- the ladies, blonde, brunette, red-head?"

"Depends…."

"I got cha, depends on the mood. Good hunting," Brad headed towards of ladies that were stationed near the oversized windows that overlooked a lighted pool.

(v/o) Where is the bar?

He spied the bar just off from the fireplace and at it he could see what looked to be the promise of a good evening. She wore black boots, his eyes traveled over her beautifully bare legs that disappeared beneath what had to be a micro mini skirt of some kind of black denim, her mid drift was bare showing off the golden bronze of her skin, the top was a deep purple that had strings to hold it in its precarious position. He couldn't see her face, but the parts that he did see, mainly her ass, he liked. He smiled as he approached the bar and tried to decide if he would speak first or if he should let her approach him- if he was lucky. He didn't have to wait long.

"Hey Jesse, I didn't think you'd make it." Valerie turned to face him fully from where she'd been engaged in conversation with the five guys that had been scoping her out since she had gotten there. She had worn her hair down, but pulled it over her shoulders toward the front in an effort to cover a bit of her overly exposed bosom. She hadn't really counted on the front being quite so low since the back only had like two strings to it. "You okay?" She noted the slightly surprised look.

(v/o) Two surprises in one evening…..damn Val-erie, nice as hell. Why do people say that? Hell isn't nice- or so I'm told, but 

He signaled for a drink and leaned against the bar beside her.

"Yeah, Brad's here somewhere….."

"Probably in the hot tub by now."

They both snickered. It was no secret that when Brad saw something he liked, he moved fast on it.

"Let me guess, you're checking out the Barbie over there by the fish tank?" Valerie mused seeing the appreciative look over that the girl had given Jesse.

"She seems…..nice."

(v/o) Nice is not the word that I would use.

"Mmm….."

"Who'll be the lucky guy from your fan club?" Jesse nodded towards the guys, three of whom were scowling at him for the intrusion.

"I don't know…..there all kind of normal right?"

"What's wrong with normal?"

"I didn't have a normal life up until a short time ago, so why would I want that now?"

"I thought people craved what they don't have?"

"Perhaps, some people, but I'm not some people."

(v/o) You most certainly are not.

She took a sip from her drink.

"I don't know…..what about you?"

Jesse shrugged.

"Wanna dance?"

The Barbie's voice was almost exactly as Valerie had thought it would be; it made Valerie snicker. The tune was slow, so Jesse had no problem with it and he let her lead him to the floor where she proceeded to rub up against him as much as that tiny pink dress would allow without them needing a room.

(v/o) When in Rome…..

Valerie signaled for one of the young men and he joined her on the dance floor. She allowed him to hold her close, she closed her eyes to allow herself to imagine…..whatever she wanted. She opened her eyes and caught Jesse's for a moment before the Barbie turned his face to hers planted a huge kiss on him, and led him off the dance floor down the hall.

"Let's go somewhere more private." The male voice was husky in Valerie's ear. She gave a slight nod and allowed him to lead her down that hall.

The room that they wound up in was done in a futuristic style, complete with remote control everything and a bed with gold inlays meant to copy that of Louis the 14th. The effect achieved was meant to be one of lavish eccentricities, but Valerie was so used to her mother doing stuff like this that it left her rather immune. Presently the young man was plying her with kisses while leading her to the bed.

In another room…..

Jesse lay back in the huge bed watching the Barbie make a big production about showing off her goods as she undressed. She was clearly in her element here and he was certain that she wouldn't disappoint. She was presently crawling towards him on the bed wearing only a sexy smile.

"You got what we need?"

(v/o) Do you think I'd be in here otherwise?

He showed her the condoms that he kept readily available.

"Allow me," she took one from him and proceeded to make use of it, much to his delight.

(v/o) A woman that knows what she's doing all around the block…..nice…..or disturbing, I guess it depends. Why the hell am I thinking so much? I never thought this much in school…..school, Demartino and he's with…..Ja-, ah, hell NO! Not here, that shit does NOT get to screw up my- well my screwing. Stop thinking and feel what this smoking hot chick is doing to you. Her lips are like velvet on your skin and her mouth is like an endless ride that you're on. Okay, that feels good...so good...I could pretend; I've done it before…..just pretend that she's her. It makes things…..better, but not afterwards. NO! Jesse, you are in bed having a great time with a woman that has a body straight from Penthou- Ooohhhh, and she's giving you some great head right now….. Look at her. For right now, she's pleasing you- happily.

Jesse let his head fall back and he enjoyed the full ministrations of what she was doing. Tonight he would lose himself in this 'Barbie' for what it was and he would do so again and again until he could banish all thoughts of a future with someone that was not meant to be.


	14. .....and a GOOD time was had

"Let's try in here," Brad opened the bedroom door as discreetly as he could. The last time there were occupants and this time didn't prove any different.

(v/o) Wait, I know that guy. That's Nick. Hat's off to you buddy.

Brad had to hand it to Nick. For a small guy, he was never one to be without female companionship. Tonight he was indulging in all flavors that he could find it would seem. A red head, a brunette, purple hair, blonde, and all of varying ethnicities. The guy had charisma- that was the only way that Brad could wrap his head around it. He, himself had to work like hell to be any version of suave- damn that Ruttheimer gene, but that same gene did allow for them all to be quite ingenious when it came to business ventures, so I guess it's a trade-off of sorts. After the next two rooms, they found an empty one.

(v/o) Finally. Hope she doesn't want the small talk bit, I mean didn't we cover the basics before?

He kissed her before she could say anything.

(v/o) Good girl, let's just enjoy each other for tonight. Got the protection- She smells really good, like the kind of candy you want all the time even when you aren't hungry. Speaking of which…..

He suckled upon the hollow of her throat and enjoyed the surprised catch in her breath, followed by the gripping of the back of his head. He smiled slightly and let the softness of his breath trail the center of her throat back to claim the sexily smudged lipstick of her mouth. One hand had already unbuttoned and removed her top, it now joined the other hand in the removal of her skirt and the subsequent exploration of all that- albeit barely, it had kept hidden.

(v/o) I knew she wasn't wearing panties. I can always tell. She purrs like a kitten with one finger, what happens when I insert more…? Sh- it! She's gonna be a yelper…..or maybe I'm just that good.

"Let's get on the bed," he carefully walked the panting young woman over to the bed without losing connection while continuing the motions that kept pushing her to the edge, but not quite pushing her over- yet.

(v/o) That's is…..Konni? -I think. Enjoy the ride and let everyone within earshot know it.

He watched her face as she climaxed with a resoundingly long cry with more than a small amount of satisfaction.

(v/o) All that and I've only used one hand so far. Look at her, she's like putty- all pliable and open. Wonder how far she's willing to go tonight?

She didn't dare move for fear of him removing the hand that still housed the sensitive area that was steadily bringing her the aftershocks of pleasure. When his lips descended upon hers once again she partook greedily. She used both hands to pull his head closer; it brought the full weight of him upon her and she gasped at the deliciousness that it elicited from the hand still within her. He adjusted quickly and made fast work of shedding himself of his clothes then rejoined her ready for action. She looked at him through lustful eyes and followed suit with the positioning of her legs over his shoulders.

(v/o) Okay, that's a nice start for the evening…..

Morning….

Brad was dressed and getting ready to head out, when he felt her eyes upon him. He took the strides necessary to get to her and plant a kiss on her.

(v/o) Back to reality I go.

"I had a really great time," her voice had lost the champagne fueled giggle of last night.

"Me too." His voice was level, much like whenever he did negotiations.

"Maybe we could…you know if we're at the same party again?"

(v/o) You continue to let me 'hit the spot' or doing that 'speed bump' and we're all good.

"Don't change too much and we're golden."

She smiled at the handsome man that never seemed to have a hair out of place and watched as he left the room.

Brad looked at the place in the early morning light. There were a few stragglers that were still passed out in the main room, while others were finding their way from the many bedrooms.

(v/o) Might as well see if Nick needs a ride back. Look at him, passed out in the middle of his mountain of conquests. Sleepin' like the lucky son of a-

"Sup Brad?" Nicks sleepy voice asked as he turned over not caring that he was exposing his nude backside.

"You wanna catch me back to the hotel?"

"…sure…."

"I'll be outside." He shook his head on his way out the door and almost ran into Jesse. "Hey, I was just about to see if you were still here. Me and Nick are heading out, you need a ride?"

"I-"

"Hey guys, you headed out?" Valerie joined them from down the hall.

"Yeah, I was just waiting on Nick and seeing if Jesse needed a ride too." Brad was surprised that she'd wanted to stay and party with them. Chicks that were friends, typically didn't party with the guys they hung out with, but she's a reporter- business acquaintance- what the fuck ever- she stayed.

"Well I can give Jesse a lift if you like."

(v/o) Big surprise she's into Jesse.

"Sure, sure thanks." Brad watched them leave and went to check and see what was taking Nick so long. He opened the door to see a very happy Nick.

"She said she wanted to make sure that I started the day off with a clear head," Nick announced around a broad smirk, completely undaunted as a pink haired young lady continued her 'morning send-off fellatio' and Brad exited the room as discreetly as possible.

(v/o) Lucky bastard!


	15. Byron said it well

"You're beautiful you know?"

"Shut up," she tried to roll away from him, but he caught her arm and rolled her back to him.

"I know you think that kind of talk is superficial, but not all of it is and it happens to be true. You're beautiful on the inside, yes; I respect and love the kind of person you are, but you're also a beautiful woman."

(v/o) That blush is so adorable.

"I don't think that I tell you that enough."

(v/o) I don't think that anyone ever told you that enough.

She looked into the eyes of this musician that she loved so dearly and the truth that she saw in them startled her once again.

"Can I ask you something?" she nudged him slightly with her toe.

"Anything."

"Weren't you afraid to go into that burning building?"

Tracing the outline of her face, Trent thought for a moment.

"If I would have had the time to think about it, then probably, but no, we just saw the fire on our way back and heard the people in there. From there it was just….chaos. Every time we thought everyone was out, we'd hear more cries so..."

(v/o) …..it's no wonder that I love you.

"That last time, though, when I went in to find Nick and the kids….there was a moment….." he remained silent for a while, "there was a moment when I thought that I wouldn't find him and perhaps I would get trapped in there, then I heard him…..but I tell ya in that moment of doubt, I found myself wishing that I had said or done more in my life."

She now mimicked the way he traced her face with her fingers on his.

"I saw how you guys were singing to those kids….it was sweet."

(v/o) What's with that look?

"What is it?"

(v/o) I don't want to get into that. I just started to get my head really clear.

"The fire…..brought up some old stuff….with everyone."

"Like what?"

"Not now. I want-" he picked up the heel of her foot and caressed her foot and calf and back again as he spoke, "to concentrate on much more important things."

She blushed thinking of how the sheet had slid down a lot and combined with the angle at which he was holding her leg up, meant that he could see more than she would expose in the light of day. The ringing of the phone made him glare angrily at the phone on the nightstand that announced Jane's call. Sighing, he placed his girlfriend's ankle on his shoulder and reluctantly answered it. Remnants of guilt from not calling immediately after the fire still nipped at him.

"Your timing is not great sis."

He paused to listen to his sister, but looked down at his girlfriend and mouthed that he was sorry. She smiled and tried to remove her ankle but he held it firmly in place and continued his conversation. Once done he looked down to where she still lay looking up at him and slowly a smile plastered itself across his face.

"Now where was I? Oh, yeah," he tapped his temple playfully. "I was giving you an exam. Now, now don't worry ma'am," he kept her leg over his shoulder as he leaned down and whispered, "I'm a professional."

Afterwards…..

"When will you be leaving?"

"Stacey and I agreed to meet up tomorrow afternoon."

"So…..one more night."

"One more night."

They lay beside each other, fingers laced looking at the ceiling.

"We should go get something to eat."

"Yeah, sustenance."

They both lay there a few moments more before slowly rising, showering, and dressing together. By design or necessity, all had ended up downstairs to get some food and with the aid of a kind waiter, they had put a couple of tables together so that they could all dine together.

Everyone is in chill mode now. The only thing that could make this any better would be if Janey were here…..but I'll see her soon. Look at my girl here- she actually interacting with everyone and she came to see me with Stacy. She must really love me…..good thing too, 'cause I really, really love her. She keeps looking at me, I must be wearing that stupid grin that Janey says I get around her again.

"What is it?" she leaned in to ask in his ear,

He shook his head, but was unable to keep the smile from the corners of his eyes. Throughout the meal he interacted with everyone, but his thoughts were with of the woman at his side.

(v/o of a poem) She walks in beauty like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that's best of dark and bright.

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies. 

(v/o) …..yeah that's appropriate. Her beauty as a whole is a quiet one and her eyes speak volumes. I don't know what ole' George meant for his girl when he wrote it, but my girl is most certainly the center for much. Everything seems to radiate from her- everything good anyway. How is it I even remember this poem anyway?...probably because it suits her, in my mind anyway.

(v/o of the same poem continuing......) One shade the more, one ray the less,  
Had half impaired the nameless grace  
Which waves in every raven tress,  
Or softly lightens o'er her face;  
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,  
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place. 

(v/o) …..she carries a balance in her features that is unparalleled to any other. Perhaps George's girl was her in some past life…..for I cannot imagine any other look that he would be describing than that of my fair lady her.

(v/o continuing the poem......) And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,  
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,  
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  
But tell of days in goodness spent,  
A mind at peace with all below,  
A heart whose love is innocent!'

(v/o) That lovely smile, enhanced by the rosy tint of her cheek graces ones presence on the rarest of occasion, but is always a visual treat. She has always seemed to know of a kind of acceptance of certain things. There is a kind of peace in that and her heart…..her heart…..never have I ever thought myself- or anyone worthy enough to have any claim to something that precious…..whenever I think of it I feel that I know what it is to be truly blessed.

The meal continued with everyone exchanging somewhat embarrassing stories back and forth. The good nature of everyone seemed to infect all that was in the dining area. Lovers gave one another intimate looks and friends gave each other a good ribbing.

(Note: The poem that I refer to is 'She Walks in Beauty by Lord Byron', but I am sure that everyone knows that already. It's one of my favorites, so again I make no money off of any of this, but it does help me with my other stuff. Hope that you continue to enjoy!)


	16. Trent's thoughts again

Trent's journal…..

We said our goodbyes, man I hate that word right now- especially now. Goodbye is so final and it sounds like an end. I guess it is an end to this visit, but who wants a reminder of the end of something that was practically perfect? Love changes people and that's not a bad thing, but sometimes it's like, who am I without her? Then I remember that I am still me, just…..enhanced. I remember looking at those guys that turned into douche's when they were really into a girl and I thought, that is not for me, but I get it. Everything seems more when I'm with her; food tastes better, colors are brighter, words take on a deeper meaning, I feel like I can achieve more, and I feel like as long as I have her I- no, we can do any and everything. There I go, sounding like the lovesick douche' that I am. Well at least I'm not alone- Max has got it bad for Stacy. They were all googly eyed and smiles with their inside jokes and stuff. It was good to see Max like that. I know I had my reservations about him and Stacy at first, but they really seem to complement each other. She doesn't seem like a nervous wreck that acted as Sandy's lapdog and he seems less prone to arguing about any and everything- unless it's about drums. Nick is taking the partying to a whole nother level. I know that all of us have done some heavy duty partying in our day- well that made me feel old, but anyway he just seems to be doing it a lot heavier or maybe it's because we're getting older so it's taking a heavier toll on us. I'll try and talk to him 'bout it; I know that he's been thinking about Charlotte and all of that stuff…I can tell it still hurts him, especially with Max dividing his focus because of his relationship with Stacy. That shit has to sting; maybe I should get Max to talk to him- nah, I don't want either of them saying something and making things worse. Jesse has been quiet, even for him. I am glad that he isn't sitting around moping or anything. Apparently he hooked up with some random at the after party that he, Nick, Brad, and Valerie were at. That's a good sign, right? The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else right? Who knows? To each his own I say. Since it seems I am giving the low down on everyone I guess it should be noted that Brad has been conferring with Quinn- a lot. I know that he got her a salary going for her work, but why? She was doing it for free without complaint. He said he was looking out for the business in the long run, but it seemed like more. It was kind of like he didn't want to do wrong by her or something; he must not have had a run in with her when she disagrees with him. Let's just say it's easy to see where the resemblance to Helen comes in to play. Gotta jet so I'll write again later.


	17. Nighttime woes

Trent got himself situated for his much anticipated V-chat and flipped on the screen; the view of bed where she usually sat popped up. He smiled to himself.

(v/o) She's early, I guess she's as anxious as I am.

"I've missed you," he heard her voice and was set to reply, but before he could screen was filled with very naked bodies entangled on the bed. Trent watched the horrific scene unfold before him. It was her- his her and, and- Ted! Ted was kissing her everywhere and she was loving every moment of it. To underscore this, she turned her. face, with her eyes closed from the sheer ecstasy- if those moans were any indication, toward the camera and fought to harness the avidity that seemed on the verge of bursting forth at any moment. Ted had not wasted any time in covering her with kisses and managing to insert small bites in between while he made his way back up her torso, stopping for the tasting of each breast before making it back to the now slightly parted lips that hungrily awaited him. He paused momentarily to look down at her before joining their bodies.

"Yes," her voice was a low whisper at first and then became more of a definitive cry, "Yes, Yes!"

(v/o) NO! Da fuck?

Trent awoke from the dream- er, nightmare almost falling out of bed. He took a moment to gather himself and glared accusingly at the phone that he often used for their v-chat sessions. He got up still feeling unsettled and made his way to the make shift kitchen on the bus. He found Nick there sitting at the table, pen in hand and staring at the page with some writings on it.

"Sup?"

Trent shook his head and went to the coffee that was so very much welcome right now.

"'Cha doin'?" Trent nodded to the writing.

Nick looked at the page and then at Trent.

"Writing Charlotte a letter."

Trent took a seat across from Nick and waited for more.

"I called her…..after the whole fire thing. She seemed relieved; guess that means that she still cares a little. Not love or anything, but she's glad that I didn't get killed or something." He spoke in a voice that was not like usual. This was what Trent would call his real voice; one unmasked by the normally party hard persona that he had regaled himself to showing the world. "I told her that I still think about them every day and that I was sorry for what happened; for what I did." He closed his eyes feeling the weight of the past bare down upon him.

"It was an accident." Trent's voice was as steady and true as it was the night that they'd gone to the hospital to be there for Nick and Charlotte.

"I was driving man….."

Trent wanted to argue that it was the other guy that had been drinking and that Nick was doing a stand up thing by taking his little girl out for ice cream, but they'd already been through this numerous times. Nick had gotten it through his head that it was his fault for taking his baby out so late- after her bedtime and against Charlottes plan for him to go get it alone. No- he had thought, his little girl wanted to pick out the flavors and the kinds with the little prizes that you could send off for, so he had overruled Charlotte and they had gone. So stupid, he thought. He was the adult and yet he refused to be one when it came to his baby. There wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for her and the one thing that he wanted to do he couldn't- he couldn't save her. The hospital workers moved over her little body in a flurry calling out all kinds of stats and stuff, but all he could see was his little girl splattered with blood and the ripped clothes as they worked on her to no avail. There had been no montage of what might have been her future or ghostly vision of her as he had seen on television. There had only been his little girl in a cold hospital morgue, on a cold table, with her mother crying and him feeling empty. Trent sat with Nick, both lost in thoughts of the past.


	18. To be Fashionable

"That was awesome! Did you see how they responded and the orders," she turned to face Paul with the rapidly filling pad. "You did it! You really did it!" she flung herself into his arms and kissed him on the cheek excitedly.

"We did it," Paul corrected her gently and planted a chaste kiss on her forehead. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. "I couldn't have done any of this without you. I hope you know that."

She beamed under his praise.

"It was your designs that got everything going."

"You got The Spiral to perform and inspired me for those designs."

"I think we should celebrate." She spoke in low tones with clear meaning behind her words. "We could have dinner at that new restaurant, then go back to my place….."

"That would be lovely." Paul touched the side of her face feeling grateful for this beautiful woman that stood before him. She was truly the inspiration for his creations since he had met her.

"Great."

A knock at the door broke their conversation.

"Just wanted to say Hi and bye before we packed it in," Trent said poking his head in the door.

"Come on in," Paul welcomed him and shook his hand. "Thanks so much for performing for us. It really gave us an added boost.

"Cool. I don't know anything about fashion, but everyone was talking about it- good things too."

"Paul, there's some press that needs your attention," Veronica poked her head in to inform them.

"Back in a few love." He gave Quinn a quick kiss on the cheek and left.

"You okay?" Trent asked Quinn; for a moment she had seemed a bit…. off.

"Sure." She answered immediately returning to her sunny disposition. "So thanks again for doing this for us. I had a live feed going and everyone ate it up. The sales for the garments are through the roof and your pages have exploded with the commentary on whether or not we'll be doing a line for you guys or something. It's crazy."

"That's…cool. How are you…..really?"

She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and cleared her throat.

"So how are you and my sister doing?"

"We're great…..you know Quinn, if you need to talk or something…..I don't know if I can help, but I'll listen and try and you can always call your sister too."

Quinn looked at Trent's sincere face and momentarily contemplated telling him about her concerns, but she wasn't sure if she knew what they were exactly.

"When you and my sister found yourselves becoming close…..how did- when did you know it was time to be closer?"

(v/o) Oh...careful what you wish for…..

"It was a mutual thing. We talked about it."

(v/o) Sort of…

(v/o) Yeah, right…..

"Look, we both just knew, but that was because we've known each other for so long and we have been friends long before we became more." Trent looked at the young lady and found that she looked more like her sister in that moment than either of them probably would admit. "Is Paul trying to push you to do something that you're not ready for? I'll talk to him if you like…."

"No, really he's not."

(v/o) That couldn't be any further from the truth.

"It's the opposite really," she said on a sigh. "He keeps finding ways to push me away…..when it comes to that."

(v/o) That's different.

"What does he say when you talk to him?"

"Nothing…..but, I know that he loves me. He tells me all the time and I believe him." They both remained silent for a few moments. "It's probably because there was just so much stress with just starting and then the show. We're going out to celebrate tonight and everything should be fine."

Trent wasn't sure who she was trying to convince but he hoped that she was right. Either was she needed to know.

"We gotta get going Trent," Jesse said from outside the door.

"I'm on my way." He looked down at Quinn and in that moment she reminded him more of her sister and mother than any of them would ever admit. "Promise me something?"

Her normally completely in control face held weary question at his request.

"No matter what happens, call me…. or someone. You don't have to say what happened one way or another, but just start talking about something."

She smiled and nodded, warmed at his concern for her and happy that her sister had chosen a 'good guy'- in the best sense of the words. He headed out the door with Jesse in tow.

(v/o) See you later brother in law…..


	19. On The Road To Success

"I'll be in the area and we can discuss the changes that I mentioned there."

"Okay, fine." Brad hung up the phone feeling somewhat exhilarated. He had been corresponding with Quinn more frequently as The Spiral's schedule had increased. Normally he found such meetings to be a chore and had often pawned it off on his brother, but with Quinn he had been ensnared by her enthusiasm. It also didn't hurt that she is gorgeous and always put together.

On the bus…..

"As you all may know, the pairing of The Spiral and Fix has gone extremely well." Brad looked at the group to ensure that he had their attention. "So I was thinking that for our final concert, we should add in another group- as an opener for you guys. Then if that goes well, you get a window of down time and to practice new material and we go on the road again, but this time with you guys as headliners."

"What about Marcus- er, Fix?"

"I have a similar set up for them in mind, but they'll be touring in the opposite direction and then for the last concert you guys meet up again for the fans, but that is contingent on press and if things continue on the upswing for both of you. That's why we're doing it like this."

"How long before we go back on the road?"

"I have to confer with Charles and Brett, but I would suggest that you guys make the most of the time that you have."

"Well we still have a few concerts left…."

"Oh, I am well aware of that," Brad turned to address Max's verbalization of the already known. "These last few concerts are going to be pretty epic for you guys if I do say so myself. We are including a light show with big screens in high-def and there are talks about a few other things, but they will largely depend on whether or not we can use some of the more artsy stuff. Tell your sister to check her email please," He threw to Trent and Trent nodded that he would do so. That part had been Quinn's suggestion and he had to admit, the few things that Quinn had shown him and that he'd seen online from Jane, he liked. Those simple ass tees were certainly the hottest sellers that they had. He could have kicked himself for not coming up with that one. The company ones were okay, but Jane had done the dam thing in a few moments from creation to sale with some guy from Dega street and now they were turning a sweet profit off of 'em. It did the job though, it got The Spiral out there for everyone to see and ask about, everything else was sweet honey. "I will have more details when I meet back up with you guys."

"You're not coming with us?"

"Don't worry I'll be at the next stop to meet up with you guys. I'm sure you can behave for a few days…"

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Nick could barely keep a straight face. He had managed to keep the prankster in him on a tight leash for the tour, but everyone knew that was in large part because Brad was there and he wanted to make a good impression for the bands sake. "Okay, okay…..I'll be…g- g-, it sickens me to even say it man."

"Just behave yourself," Brad gave a slightly stern warning before giving a curt goodbye and leaving.


	20. Fathers and sons

"Let's pick up the pace on that one again."

"Trent….."

"Yeah?" he looked up from his guitar at Jesse's concerned face.

"We've been going non-stop. Let's take a break."

Trent looked at everyone's face and gave a curt nod…..no one moved. Trent looked back up.

"Thought you guys needed a break?"

Jesse spoke first.

"We thought maybe you could use a break or something. Maybe grab a beer."

"Nah, think I'll work on a few chords while you guys go out." Trent looked down at his guitar and then back up at his friends again. "What?"

"We know you said that you didn't want to go back to Lawndale…. for the funeral, but we'd all go with you. We already talked to Brad and he okayed everything."

"I'm not going back. I don't want to." He carefully put down his guitar and stretched slightly before heading to the door. "Think I'll go for a walk and get some fresh air."

He had no desire to hear any more of what anyone thought that he should do. As far as he was concerned, there was no reason for him to participate in something that he didn't feel a connection to anyway. The remaining members of the band looked at each other.

Walking…..

"Can't run away from your problems son," Vincent's voice made Trent stop mid stride and turn towards where he'd heard it come from.

(v/o) I don't leave dad. That's something that you do.

"You always were an open book. That's one of the reasons I knew that you guys would be okay. That's where you needed to be while your mother and I worked abroad."

(v/o) …..and left your kids without hesitation or concern. 

"You're a lot more responsible than I ever was. We knew Jane would be fine with you and we checked in as often as we could. I'm sure you still resent that, but I hope you know that we only wanted for you and your brothers and sisters to have the best kind of life, one free of what society calls 'normal'. We want you to always be able to express yourselves creatively and be true to who you are as individuals. It paid off too. Look at you…..you're doing what you love and doing well at it."

(v/o) You always have a reason….. for our own good…right, right…..sure, sure…..

"Well aren't you gonna say anything? I did come all this way and all."

"What would be the point? You're not here. You're dead….." Trent's voice spoke to the empty area to his left.

(v/o) Well, as Jane would say, this is so movie of the week that I could scream. There's just no point in me going to that funeral and listening to things that I don't agree with or having people try and make me say things that I don't mean. I just don't want to talk about it or think about it right now.


	21. that's what friends are for......

"Can we talk?"

"About anything else but what you're getting at."

"Okay, I won't talk about Cherry's piercing that makes things pretty interesting when she's feeling particularly horny."

Trent smiled slightly.

"What is it Nick?"

"I just wanted to say…..I kind of get it man. I- all of us in the band had issues with our fathers, but don't every child? Like, isn't it a part of growing up and shit, the whole not seeing eye to eye and stuff?"

Trent listened to Nick's well-meaning attempt at comforting him.

"What would you have me do man? I don't want or feel the need to cry and what is there to talk about? The guy was in and out of my life on his own revolving door with a few words sprinkled in between. I should be grateful though right?" Trent's voice gave depth in his uncharacteristic display anger.

"I didn't say that….. but maybe just acknowledge that you do feel something."

(v/o) Cause it is total spooksville the way you completely cut yourself off in that area. I know he mind fucked your perceptions of family and shit, but he didn't beat the crap out of you and your mom like Jesse's dad, leave like Max's dad, or worse stay like mine did and whore your kids out for drugs.

"Fine, I feel something- anger." Trent carefully put down the guitar and pick resisting the strong inclination to bash it on the floor over and over until the splinters hurt his hands like he had done the time when his parents hadn't shown up for Jane's 10th birthday like they had promised. "I don't like feeling this shit. It sucks ass."

"I know."

They remained silent for a few moments before Trent spoke.

"Let's go get something to drown our sorrows in."

"I am so there." Nick texted the guys to let them know where to meet 'em. "They'll meet us down the road." He told him as they left the little make shift studio that they had been using in that town. "…..Oh and about the whole ass thing, don't knock something until you try it." Nick elbowed Trent slightly and smirked at Trent's thrown look.

At the bar…..

"Why don't you give ole girl a dance? She's been eying you since we got here."

Jesse glanced at the red head that Nick had been talking about. "We're here to for Trent remember?"

"I'll keep an eye on him. You go, have a good time, and do me proud."

Jesse smiled slightly.

"Just guys tonight."

Nick shrugged and turned back to Max and Trent sitting and drinking in silence.

(v/o) What we need to do is turn this place out the way we used to. Damn that made sound like an old ass man. Shit, I feel old being all Johnny next door and stuff. Tonight is about Trent though…..he needs to get shitfaced and sleep it off. Feeling bad will make him feel good in the end.

"Hey," Nick got the attention of his compadres, "to kicking some serious ass at the next few concerts." Nick raised his mug and everyone did the same before drinking.

They continued to drink each giving minimal conversation and out of respect, none trying to engage Trent in something he wasn't in the mood for. The three men continued to show their quiet solidarity for their friend and further proved their strength as a whole.


	22. I Can't right now......

"Hello, Trent? You haven't been picking up….." her voice wasn't accusing, but there was justifiable concern.

"I know; I've been…. busy…. rehearsal and stuff."

There was an empty silence that neither could fill. She wanted to say something- anything that would provide comfort to him or at least get him to open up to her. This was the first time that they'd even spoken since she'd found out that his father had died. He hadn't called her and when she'd called him he hadn't picked up- until now. The silence only served to underscore the distance between them and she felt herself flailing with uncertainty over what to do or say. He wanted to open up to her and tell her whatever it is she needed to hear, but he simply had no desire to talk about the thing that she wanted to talk about.

"Do you do you need to talk about it?" her voice was strong, for she felt that was what he needed and it was of course his to have.

"No, I don't."

More silence.

"How's school going?"

"…..fine. Jane was trying to contact you."

"I know. Tell her…..tell her that I'll call her when I can okay?"

"I will, but it might help you both if you could hear each other's voice."

"I can't…..not now."

(v/o) He sounds so empty…..

"Trent, I know I'm not there, but I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything and I will try to help. That's what girlfriends do right?" she tried to interject a bit of their so-called normalcy into the uncharacteristically beige phone call.

"I know. I just want to concentrate on this tour right now."

"I could shift some things around and meet up with you-"

"No- don't do that. Don't uproot your world, besides we're practicing more for this huge finale show and I've been in the zone about some new material that I've been writing, so I wouldn't have any time to hang with you."

(v/o) Sweetheart I know you're trying, but just let me be for a while.

"I should be getting back. I've got some stuff to finish up."

"V chat later?"

"…..yeah, I'll call before bedtime."

"Trent?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you okay?"

He sighed. He didn't want her to be affected by his shit and he knew her feelings were probably hurt that he wasn't able to open up to her the way that she felt that he should.

"Look…..I love you too, just bear with me here. I'll be back to normal soon."

"We don't do normal remember?"

They both smiled at that. It had been by mutual agreement that society's version of normal was definitely not their cup of tea. Hell, they'd allowed it to become a running joke between them in varying conversations; one would only have to say the word 'normal' and the other would join in on their coveted intimate world with a secreted smile or slight laugh.

"I remember…..and I know that you're there for me."

(v/o) Good. 

"I'll call you later, promise."

"Okay, later then."

They both hung up and though it was slight, each felt better about having talked to the other.


	23. Lawndale

(v/o) I swear I can't win for losing sometimes. Dad dies and somehow I end up the bad guy because I don't want to go back and pretend to feel something that I don't. I don't need to go back…..well perhaps for Janey, but she's got my girl and Demartino for support. I just want to focus on my music, but practically everyone seems to be of the opinion that I should…..revisit my feelings for the guy or something. Brad insisted that I take some time off and go back to Lawndale; apparently the fans think that I'm some kind of soft touch that would use this as an opportunity to make some kind of soulful, heart wrenching music. I HATE the business side of things. So I guess we'll go back for a few days and then it's back to the tour. Hell, it might give me a chance to go over some of this shit that has been going on in the ole noggin'. Shit like this is supposed to bring out some strong stuff for an artist, or so they say, but it is just messes my life up. I had made my peace with being an unconventional orphan and my life has been on the upswing with my girl and my music, so this crap is just making everything messy as far as I'm concerned. Back to Lawndale, just craptastic!

Lawndale…..

"Trent, I heard about your father….. I'm so sorry. Come in."

Trent entered the familiar apartment and followed Monique to sit on the all too familiar sofa.

"Can I get you something to drink?" She asked and sat when he shook his head in the negative. "So what brings you on my side of town?"

"Just wanted to see how you're doing." His voice dropped down a notch and he looked at her carefully. "How are you Monique?"

"I'm good Trent. Really good."

"Still with The Harpies?"

"Nah, we were no longer a good fit. Too much arguing and not enough music."

He cocked a surprised brow.

"You giving up music?"

She tilted her thick mane of ebony tresses and gave him the smile that had attracted him to her.

"Never, it's in my blood…..just like you." She stretched slightly and punched him in the shoulder before continuing. "I'm doing a bit of solo work now and I like it."

"Good…"

"As wonderful as seeing you is; I get the feeling that you didn't come here just to chat. What gives Trent?"

"Back when we were- well, an us and you got-….."

"What about it?"

"Did you think that I wouldn't be there; did you think that I would just leave or something? Is that why you did it without even saying anything to me until afterwards?"

"No, nothing like that." She sighed and moved to sit adjacent to him on the worn couch, while covering his clasped hands with hers. "Quite the opposite; I knew that I had to make the decision that was best for me…..and indirectly you. If I had talked to you first I know that you would have stepped up and I would have let you. We would have fallen back into our old patterns that weren't working for either of us and adding a kid to the mix would have been disastrous."

Trent was slowly nodding but he wouldn't meet her eyes. She knew that he could house a world of guilt on that thin frame of his, but there was no way that she would let him feel guilty about a decision that she had made, it had been one of the reasons that she'd handled things the way that she had.

"Look at me," she waited until the familiar soft eyes were on hers. "You are a stand-up guy. The decision that I made was about not wanting to mess up my life and yours, but in no way was it about you not being there. You would make an outstanding father one day."

"I should be going." He stood and strode to the door, with Monique right behind him. He turned and looked down at her. "Thanks Monique."

She hugged him briefly and whispered in his ear.

"Anytime Trent…..anytime."

Their eyes held for a few moments and Trent left leaving Monique to stare after him with her own thoughts in the forefront of her mind.

(v/o) If I hurry I can catch the bus to the lodge…..

Jesse's place…..

"Thanks for dropping my stuff off man." Trent thanked his best friend. He had went straight to Monique's and Jesse had agreed to drop his things off at the Lodge for him, of course that was after giving him a stern look and his own special brand of lecture.

"You talk to Jane or you're-"

"No," he waved his hand in the air disregarding the repeat lecture that was sure to follow. "I will once I catch a shower."

"Why aren't you staying at your home man? Everyone is there."

"My point exactly."

(v/o) I hear that. They aren't the subtlest group.

"You gonna talk to your mom?"

Trent thought about it for a moment.

"I don't see why I would. She'd need comfort and I wouldn't know how to give her that. I settled things with how I felt for both of them a long time ago….."

"Trent! You stayin' for dinner?" Karen Moreno had come in the back door carrying bags that both of the men relieved her of once they'd seen. "I'm makin' my lasagna," she enticed.

"No ma'am; I've gotta get unpacked and stuff, but thanks."

"Well, I'll put you up some and Jesse can give it to you. I was so sorry to hear about you father. You tell Amanda to be strong and I'll be back by there again tomorrow after my shift."

Trent nodded and made his way to the door with Jesse in tow.

"I don't want to miss the bus so….."

"Call your girls man; they need you and you need them."

"And you don't eat my lasagna." Trent gave a wry smile before leaving out the door.


	24. The Lane House

He took the slow steps towards his old familiar home and paused slightly at the door. Part of him felt like perhaps he should knock…..The door opened and Wind stood there silently waiting. Their eyes met and Wind nodded towards the kitchen. He entered the kitchen and there surrounded by varying family members at a table filled with food for visitors paying their respects sat his mother looking like every bit the smallest puppy of the litter being run over. She looked completely and utterly lost and then her eyes caught sight of him. She stood and went to him, shrugging away those that would try to get her to remain seated and properly greet everyone.

"Hey mom," Trent had no sooner uttered the words than she had taken his hands in hers and took him to the garage-her workshop for some privacy. Once there they stood among the familiar projects, some finished, some in progress, but all touched especially recently for Amanda had found much solace in remembering the old projects that she'd abandoned when she and Vincent would take off. She hadn't been able to bring herself to start anything new- there was no room for the muse in her time of mourning that she felt would never cease. She took a shallow breath looking at her son.

(v/o) You look so like your father…..

"How's my rock star son these days?"

"Sorry I didn't come sooner….."

"I know you've been busy on the road and that's really great; it's what you've always wanted," she smiled weakly at him.

(v/o) No mom, I've been pissed off about having to come back here…I don't want to do this, but I am here…..

"I still should have been here. What can I do?"

"Um…..just talk to your brothers and sisters I guess and anyone coming by to pay their respects. The arrangements have already been made for tomorrow. I'm just glad that all our kids are here."

He hugged her. He really didn't want to hurt her feelings or anyone's, but he didn't want to be put in a position where he would say something that might hurt anyone's feelings. See, this is one of the reasons why kids didn't want to grow up, but everything is eventual I suppose.

"Are you enjoying yourself out there?"

"Yeah, I mean it's hard work, but we- the guys, we love it. Mom, we don't have to talk about this right now…"

"Oh, shush with that. Given a choice between hearing more well-meaning 'words of empathy' or about my son living his dreams, I'll take the latter. Come on, sit." She ushered him to sit where she would usually work on some of her pottery on the well-worn stools. "Now, tell me."

(v/o) She's so…..different; deaths handy work I suppose. It has changed my hippie styled mother into- a suburbia type…..of course she probably just wants to forget about everything.

He sat beside her and told her about The Spiral's tour and how well it was going, minus some content, she's still his mother after all. He was surprised to find how the simple act of talking could make him feel better or more accurately- talking to her. It wasn't until Wind came in to retrieve his mother for the new batch of visitors that Trent had actually stopped talking.

(v/o) I don't think I've ever talked that much in my life….. Felt good though. Felt great not to feel angry. Selfish though I guess; talking about myself makes me feel better. Maybe I'm changing in the wrong way.

"You coming Trent?" his mother looked back at him.

"In a minute mom; just want to talk to Wind for a second."

"Okay," she smiled at them broadly and looked at them for a moment, "it's so good to have you both here."

"What's going on with mom? She's- different."

"I guess this whole thing with dad affected her more than we thought it would…..She's been wondering where you were."

The brothers eyed each other warily. Neither wanted a fight, but each had things to say.

"I had some stuff to take care of."

"She needed you, so did Jane."

"I know."

"Summer is out there trying to keep Penney calm, but…"

"There's a losing battle."

Both men silently agreed to that one. Penney had a no holds barred temperament that set her off on anything that she didn't agree with. The brothers rejoined the others and did the whole dog and pony show for the benefit of the family or whatever. They took turns making sure that the ladies- their ladies had whatever they needed, if they let them, and making small talk with the guests until the very last one was gone and they were sitting on the old worn couch with a drink in hand.

"Katie didn't come with you?"

Wind actually winced before answering with a slight shake of his blonde locks.

"You and- Monique?"

"Nah man that was a lifetime ago; I'm seeing- well there she is now."

"Trent?" her voice was a welcome melody to his ears.

"I'll give you guys some time," Wind left the room to his brother and the petite young woman now standing over him.

"Hey."

"Hey."

She sat beside him. She wanted to ask him why he hadn't let her know that he was coming to town or that he was in town. She wanted to ask him why it had taken hearing Penney throw the information at she and Jane like a dagger for them to find out or why every member of The Spiral had been through but not him. There was so much that she wanted to ask him and the nagging insecure part of her really wanted to ask why he had gone to see Monique instead of his mother or herself when he arrived but something in her wouldn't allow it.

(v/o) He needs some time…. He'll tell you when he gets through all of this; he'll open up to you again.

(v/o) I should tell her something, but what? It's not like I don't want her around- I always want that, but I have not been good company and she doesn't need that.


	25. A Penney for your thoughts

Penney thinking......  
Who are all these people? I don't recall ever seeing them at the house, let alone talk to dad. Look at mom she's just going through the motions like some kind of robot or something. I wish she wouldn't let my Aunts and Uncles 'handle' her so much. She's always been such a free thinking outside the box kind of person- it totally got on their nerves, but it was who she was- is- was- until…this. Is this what she would have been like if she had never met daddy? Well there's a chilly thought. Soon I'll be mind trippin' like Trent if I keep that up. Trent shows up- late as usual, doesn't even stay at the house, and she treats him like he's royalty or something. No surprise, he's her 'baby boy' and right beside him is her 'baby girl'. Trent and Jane and their entourage of people- no self-sufficiency at all. Like Trent really needed his girlfriend and his pot head friends that he makes noise with and Jane with her college friend and Demartino- it's just not right. This is supposed to be a family thing and everyone in the family is with other people. Even Summer has her kids fawning all over her. That leaves Wind- wonder what happened with his last wife? Look him trailing behind Trent and mom like some sad puppy waiting for scraps. Hard to believe there was a time when he and I were close, but all that changed when Trent and Jane came along. This service was way too long. I mean why get some guy to say words about someone he didn't even know? I don't remember mom and dad ever setting foot inside a church. This ceremony reeks of Max and his need to pretend to be some kind of pillar of strength for the family. I'm glad that we're finally on our way home; it's starting to mist out there best to get inside before it gets bad.


	26. The Sit Down At The Lanes

"I should have come to you first; you're the smartest person I know." Trent admitted to her while still looking into his hands. She sat silent next to him in the Lane living room, listening to him. "This whole thing with dad- kind of took me by surprise." His hand found hers next to him on the couch. "I guess I just needed to sort some things out. I'm gonna head out-" he gave her hand a gentle squeeze before leaving. She stayed there a few moments more looking into the space that he walked out of long after he'd left.

(v/o) He didn't even look at me. I know he's hurting, but that's what I'm here for- to help. I can't help him if he won't let me. I just wish that he would talk to me…..

"Hurts don't it? Well get used to it; that's what the men in this family do best- leave." Penney's unsympathetic voice spoke from the doorway. The young woman on the couch remained unmoving. Penney came closer as she spoke, "Well, look at Wind; do you see his wife anywhere around and on such a mournful occasion. Why do you think that is? I'll tell you," she'd rounded to face the young woman still sitting on the couch, "'cause instead of staying and working through whatever their current problem is, he ran back home like always. Now Trent is following suite. He hasn't stayed her one night, nor has he bothered to have a decent conversation with anyone here. He just swooped in to brighten mom's day for a few moments and now he's probably going back to some grungy hotel to shack up with one of his on the road groupies or maybe he and Monique-"

"Penney, that's enough." Summer came into the room taking strong and sure steps.

"I should be going," the young woman rose and after giving each woman a cursory look, she left.

"Thank you for coming," Summer said softly and the girl nodded before leaving. Summer turned back to Penney. "I know that you are going through pain, but you aren't the only person that lost here; he was our father too- Wind, Trent, Jane, and mine. You don't get to corner the market on missing him. We all do."

"Really- sis? Cause from where I'm standing everyone has taken this to be another opportunity to wallow in the cesspools of their own lives. Jane has a parade of friends wiping the corners of her eyes, and oh- did I mention the 'boyfriend', that just happens to be our old teacher. They were out there on the lawn pawing each other, like it was okay or something. Then there's Wind-doting on Jane like she really needs another groupie in her mix and the pathetic thing is, she doesn't even notice him- not if he isn't Trent. Ah yes, Trent…..the musician. He spent his entire life doing exactly whatever he wanted, which was nothing; dad dies and instead of coming home, he decides to stay somewhere else, but oh he does have time to visit an old girlfriend."

Summer looked at her sister that stood there so filled with rage and looking very much like her teenage self.

"And what about me Penney? What is it that I've done to add to your anger?"

"You've-" she looked back at her sister, but her mother's form came into view just behind Summer. Summer turned to look at her mother.

"Mom, can I get you something?"

Amanda looked at her daughters; as awful as losing Vincent had been, it had been so lovely to see all of her children together and since she was widow-

(v/o) My god I'm a widow now! 

As a widow she could remain quiet and watch; this allowed her to see not just the physicality's that they shared with her husband, but the mannerisms that she was certain none of them would ever own up to. Trent had the strongest look like Vincent, in large part because of his hair; Wind has that strong chin, Penney and Summer both carried Vincent's expressions, whether in joyous times or anger like she saw in Penney now.

"Sit down children….." she waited until Penney and Summer both sat down, "you can join us too Jane, Wind." She called out to the other two siblings that had remained hidden from view in the kitchen. They both came in and each took whatever seats were available. "We never really elaborated about our childhoods- your father and I, well there are reasons for that, mainly my own. Mine was not a joyous situation and when I met your father we shared similar feelings of loneliness. I had no family and he often felt alone in his large family. Our connection was immediate. His family was not too happy about our union either." Amanda shook her head to free herself from the pasts sticky fingers before continuing. "I know that each of you have your issues with your father and I, such is the case with most parents; I just want you all to know that though you may not understand it, your father and I gave you all the very best that we could by allowing you the freedom to be the wonderful people that you are. Each of you," she looked from person to person with a partial smile on her lips, "have such talent and gifts. It has been such an honor to be able to hold back and allow you all to grow; we have always been so proud of how well you've all done. Summer, you put all of your focus on making sure that your kids are taken care of, whether they like it or night; Wind, you still fight the good fight for love without letting it get you down, Jane you're going to college and from what Helen Morgendorffer tells me, you are flourishing beautifully while doing something that you love, and Penney you're still trying uncompromisingly to make a difference in places that are in great need of your strength and conviction. There's no need for you to be so angry, each of us feels it and we all deal with it in our own ways; it is important for us to remember that no matter where life may take us, we are family. We are the Lanes." They all sat in respective silence for a while until one by one they went back to their respective rooms and thought about what would be next for them collectively and individually.

Hotel room….

(v/o) He didn't ask you to come, why are you here? You said that you wanted to give him space. Turn around and leave. 

She stood in the hallway, arm raised to knock on his door with her doubts about this surprise visit plaguing her.

(v/o) This is what supportive girlfriends do. They give- um- support, in this case Trent might not know that he needs this support…..but he does. He's probably been drinking with the guys or writing some maudlin music. Good thing I brought some comfort food with me. Here goes everything.

She knocked on the door and took a deep breath.

"Hi, you a friend of Candy's?" the bleach blonde that answered the door asked in far too perky a tone for this time of evening.

"No- I- I must have the wrong room." She paused a beat, "Is Trent here?"

"Ummm, let's see," the blonde went back inside, leaving the young woman at the door feeling suddenly very foolish.

"Hey, what's up?" Nick's half naked form appeared at the doorway. "Trent's not-"

"Stop."

(v/o) I'll be dammed if I start crying over something as- as- typical as this. He knows I'm here, so he has to know what I think could be happening in there. Why isn't he here telling me some incredulous story about what happened? –or at least attempting a lame assed one?

She handed Nick the basket and walked away forcing her head to stay high. She wanted to be sad, but her anger was holding tight.

(v/o) You jerk! Blowing me off, so you could get your jollies from some- some- Candy!

"Ow!"

"Hey, watch it!" Shalah's voice seemed to come from nowhere. Her friend had barreled into her without so much as noticing that it was her. "What're you doin' here?" Shalah took one look at her and knew that she was clearly pissed about something.

"Having a drink downstairs." She spoke in clipped angry tones. Shalah followed knowing that this could lead to some very out of control behavior. They sat at the bar and Shalah watched as her friend downed a couple of shots and effectively began to launch into the musings of the faults of every man everywhere.

(v/o) You owe me for this Lane…..

Shalah listened with growing amusement at the young women's sometimes spot on observations about the opposite sex. And the night moved on…..


	27. Sit Down At The Morgendorffer House

"Don't tell me you're sorry for my loss. I'm so sick of everyone saying that." He looked into the night sky with angry eyes. "It's just…...it's not like I didn't like the man; I just didn't know him and that's his fault. Why couldn't he have had more than a five-minute conversation with me?"

(v/o) I sound like a whiny chick…...ooh, my daddy won't talk to me so I'm angry!

"He wasn't there when I learned to shave or when Janey fell and scraped her knees on more than one occasion. He didn't even call to check on us when there was a hurricane and I doubt very seriously that we were even missed when we came to stay here when the family had invaded the homestead that time. I know I shouldn't be like this…...he is dead after all. I should be- respectful or whatever."

Trent waited for the lecture, but in its stead he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. No words were passed; none were necessary. Sometimes the art of being quiet was indeed a beautiful and necessary thing in life, especially on a night like this. The young man needed to talk and say what he wanted without fear of judgement or reprimand. He had a right to his feelings, whatever they may be and Jake Morgendorffer listened as Trent would talk and lapse into long silences, only to be fueled with an anger that would burn out just as quickly as it came. Trent needed this and though he had come looking for another Morgendorffer, he had actually found the one that he needed. They stayed on the steps sitting, sometimes talking for a long stretches other times letting the silence surround them like a comforting blanket.

(v/o) You talk it all out son. I'm no stranger to having unresolved feelings with a father myself. …...say whatever it is you need to and don't ever let it get as bad as I did.


	28. It Always Comes Back To Us......

You have reached the voicemail of Trent Lane, please leave a message. Beep!

"Trent, it's me- your girlfriend- at least I think I'm still your girlfriend. I get it, you're going through something awful, but I've been trying to be there for you…... maybe I'm not what you need… I think that I should be going back to Boston- I'm just in your way-"

Beep! If you are satisfied with your message, just hang up; If you want to deliver you message as urgent, press two-

She pressed the end call on her phone and let it fall from her hands to the floor. Even in her drunken state, she felt cold hands of an unwanted reality tightening around her.

(v/o) What's the point of having a dammed phone, if your boyfriend won't pick up his and refuses to call yours? Shit, I do not want to cry. He's going through some real-life bad stuff and I'm crying about him being distant.

"Thanks," she took the tissue that Shalah had dangled before her and dabbed at her tears before blowing her nose, "and thanks for letting me crash here for a while."

"No prob, my hotel room- yadda, yadda, yadda…" She watched the petite woman for a few moments more. "I have an extra set of pj's and there's a murphy over there. I don't think you should go back to your parents like this."

She nodded in agreement and after she texted her mom to let her know that she wouldn't be home, Shalah left her to some much needed solitude for the evening. She made up her mind, before going to bed, to try and see him one more time the next day before leaving.

Trent's hotel room…

She stood when she heard the turning of the nob. He entered the room and their eyes connected. She was still as she watched him for some kind of sign- any sign that he cared about what she'd said.

(v/o) Good lord Trent, you look like you haven't slept in days. …..which is really saying something.

He moved toward her in the weariest of fashion, staggering, as though with each step he was struggling to pull his feet from thick mud. His eyes were reddened, his cheeks were sallow, and the slight stubble was no longer fashionable- he just looked worn. The anger that she'd almost let come to full boil, dissipated. He was standing before her now, with a slight sway that she was certain was from the alcohol that she smelled. For a moment she was her high school self, unable to speak or move around him and then he dropped to his knees before her. She lightly touched the unkempt hair until her fingers grazed his scalp. She felt his arms wrap around her legs and then there was the slightest of quivers… she kneeled down as far as he would allow and wrapped her arms around him as best as she could. They stayed that way for a while, with her giving him the silent comfort that he hadn't known that he so desperately needed.

"I'm sorry…" she placed a hand over his mouth and shook her head.

She'd let her old insecurities overrun her common sense and had jumped to incorrect conclusions that Nick explained on his way out. She had allowed housekeeping full run of the place- especially seeing that Nick had partied all night. She reached past him and wet the washcloth that she held and proceeded to lather and wash his face first before moving on to get the rest of him clean. He said nothing, but watched her and the care that she took in cleaning him. She washed his hair last and allowed the lather to sluice through her fingers as she massaged his scalp on her tip toes. She gently pushed his head back so that the water could rinse out. She got out of the shower first, grabbed a towel and turned back to start toweling him off. His dark eyes followed her movements and he felt a wash of shame each time she smiled up at him endearingly. He caught her wrist in his hand when she'd turned to go back in the bedroom.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away, but the thought of you seeing me like that… I didn't want it."

"I shouldn't have left you that message. It was really insensitive and I'm sorry. Come on, you should get some sleep."

That brought a slight smile to his lips.

(v/o) Now there's something I thought I'd ever hear anyone say.

They smirked at each other before he allowed her to lead him to the bed that she'd turned down for him.

"I'll get your pajamas-"

He looked puzzled for a moment.

(v/o) For what? I'm in a room with you naked.

"You need to re-"

"I need you… Just join me- to sleep. You're naked anyway," he pleasantly noted looking at the towel that she'd put around herself.

"Just let me finish toweling off- in the restroom," she agreed with a broad smirk. She went back into the bathroom and dried off as quickly as she could and tided up the mess that they'd made a bit before reentering the bedroom. She smiled as she walked over to his dozing form. He was semi covered, exposing his left buttock while he snoozed facing her side of the bed. She got in the bed as gently as she could. The Lanes were sound sleepers, but she didn't want to risk him waking from the rest that he absolutely needed. The nearness of him- she breathed it in deliciously and gave a slight sigh as she sank further into the covers.

"…love you Morgendorffer."

"I love you too Lane."

Their voices were but whispers as his hand found hers and their fingers were laced as they dozed into the comfort of what lay between them.


	29. Max

“Is Stacey home?” Max asked of the woman that looked him over scathingly when he had knocked on the door.  
“Just a minute.”  
(v/o) Did she actually shut door while she went in to get Stacey? I thought that was her mom, but it must be some Aunt or something.   
“Hey, Max.” Stacey had come out and shut the door behind her.  
(v/o) She sounds nervous. This was supposed to be a good surprise.  
“What’s with your aunt? She acts like you’ve never had a boyfriend or something.”  
(v/o) She hasn’t hugged me and why does she keep looking back at the door like that?  
“Aunt? No, that’s my mom. She-” Stacey looked back at the window from where her mother had been looking out at them. “Max, she doesn’t know.” Her voice had dropped down to a near whisper.  
“Know what?” Max had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
“About us.”   
Her admission made him dizzy. Stacey wouldn’t- but here she was saying that- There had to be a good reason.  
“Why not?” His eyes searched her face for answers.  
“My mom- my parents, they expect me to be a certain way. They weren’t so sure about me in school; I was such a basket case. Then when I went to college, they thought fresh start for me- so did I.”  
“Ivy leagues and pedigrees, not guitar picks and tattoos huh?” Max shifted his eyes slightly so that he was looking at the plant that was behind her. That sickly feeling was spreading even as his brain continued to try and reject what was happening.   
“I wanted to tell them- really I did, but they just get so worked up about what they expect from me.”  
“Well we wouldn’t want to disappoint the parentals, now would we?” His voice was completely empty and harsh.   
“Max……” Stacey wanted to say something to make things right, but she didn’t have anything. She had hurt him and that was never what she had intended.  
He looked at her now. The daylight framing the features that he thought were exclusively his seemed to make fun of everything that he thought that they had shared. He turned and walked back to the Trent’s car that he’d borrowed. Once inside he had to still himself from hitting the stirring wheel and having a tantrum.  
(v/o) Not now, that will come later. I am going to find Nick and get something really good to forget about this shit here.

 

Nick’s room  
“Mornin’ sunshine,” Nick’s voice was sarcastically bright as he handed Max a cup of coffee.  
Max flipped him off, but took the coffee. Nick smiled and waited, saying nothing.  
“That was messed up what you did last night.”  
Nick sat there smiling and sipping on his coffee.   
“If I want to use, that is my choice, not yours.”  
Still nothing.  
“You use and its okay; anyone else and it’s a problem? That’s bullshit!”  
Nick put down his cup and leaned forward so that he was somewhat in Max’s face.  
“First of all, we both know that I’m as far from okay as I can be- for now. Second you’re not anyone else- you’re my best friend, and third of all you- all of Spiral are my family and that IS NOT bullshit.”  
Max drank some more coffee.  
“I get it man- She hurt you and you just wanted to numb the pain; I’m no stranger to getting faded to forget. So I know, but it’s not for you. You still have to climb out of the drugs and back into your shit. I can help; Jesse can help; Trent can help. That’s what family does.”  
Max grunted and continued to drink. Nick was right, but Max was loathe to admit it. A know at the door signaled the arrival of Jesse and lucky for Nick and Max he brought breakfast. Trent arrived soon after and they all ate breakfast and talked about finishing the tour. It felt good- all of them together. They agreed to meet later at The Zon- for old times sake.


	30. Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Trent catch up

(v/o) Funerals…..I don’t like funerals……no one does I suppose. Great, I’m complaining about my dad’s funeral. How selfish is that? Look at mom……how is she doing it? I would be curled in a fetal position somewhere. She doesn’t exactly seem like she’s all the way there though and why would she be? Everyone is so……subdued and for the Lane family that’s saying something. Look at all of these people…… did they even know dad?  
The spray of misting rain continued to fall as the funeral and those whom attended the ceremony paid their respect. Jane and others of her family floated through the motions and gave the appropriate responses with each looking forward to a time when they could just be alone for a while and settle in with their own thoughts. Jane was more than grateful that Anthony remained a permanent fixture at her side, even with Penney throwing them those looks. Trent was also to her side, silent and there with her best friend, Jesse, and Shayla for support. It as a comfort to know that Trent had someone solid and that she didn’t have to worry about him quite as much. She turned her eyes to Shayla and Jesse, another pair that she could not imagine not being in her life. She and Shayla had hit it off immediately and Jesse…… she still felt the knotted sense of hurt from his pain. He was here though and that meant so much to her. Then there had been Brittany…… that was a surprise and pleasant visit. In spite of the loss, Jane had thought looking at everyone; Jane knew that she was truly lucky. She looked up into Anthony’s eyes for that reassurance that he gave so easily and smiled. 

 

Lane House……  
“Hey, thought we’d hit The Zon tonight, to blow off some steam and stuff.” Trent spoke to Jane in her room that afternoon. It was the first time that they’d been alone to talk.  
“Sure, I guess……”  
“I invited DeMartino too.”  
“Thanks……”  
The brother and sister looked at each other.  
“Sorry about not being there for you. I had…… my own stuff going on.”  
“I know…… and since this is the first time, I will forgive you.” She spoke with a playful smile.  
“The first and only time; you’re an amazing sister.”  
“I am pretty amazing aren’t I?” They hugged. “Are you okay?” she asked in a whisper.  
“I think so.”  
They remained in a light embrace and looked at each other.  
“I love you sis.”  
“I love you too big brother.”  
There was a light knock at the door.  
“Yes?”  
“Just checking in,” the comforting monotone poked her head in to check on Trent and Jane.   
“Come on in,” Jane motioned for her to join them where they sat on her old bed.  
Trent took his girlfriend’s hand and made sure that she was sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped around her.   
“You keeping this one straight?” Jane asked her friend, to which her friend nodded.   
“How are you?” the petite young woman asked her friend.   
“I’m…… a whole lot better…..thanks to Anthony. So, what’s with tonight?”  
“Tonight is about everyone coming together……like before.” Trent stated. “Well, not exactly like before,” he added giving his girl a squeeze. “More like everyone playing catch up and taking time to share the good with each other.”  
“Well I’m for that,” Jane agreed with a feeling of anticipation for the evening. “It’ll be good to catch up with the guys. How is everyone?”  
Trent paused slightly thinking. He had been so into his own shit that he’d almost missed the key points of what was going on with his friends. He was glad that they were such a forgiving sort.  
“Max is…… he and Stacey broke up and Nick, well he’s Nick.”  
“How’s Max dealing?”  
“Nick didn’t let him go too far.”   
“Let me guess, he put him to bed.”  
Trent nodded with a smile.  
“Max was super pissed, but better that than…… something else.”  
The petite woman could feel Trent’s arms tighten around her slightly and even if they hadn’t, she could tell from his voice that he was recalling an unpleasant event from the past. She had heard Trent and Jesse remark on more than one occasion that Max using was more than unpleasant, it was dangerous. Max was not discriminating when it came to using, because it was usually during a time of extreme duress, so he took whatever he could get from whomever he could get it from and this had almost cost him his life on more than one occasion. That’s why this night was kind of important. To let everyone know that no matter what was going on, they were still family.


	31. Old Times......

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone goes to The Zon

“Good evening everyone,” Scott, the manager of The Zon greeted The Spiral and their dates.   
“Sup Scott? How’s it going?” Trent asked with an arm firmly around his petite date.  
“Good, good. We’ve made a few changes and it has done pretty good so far.”  
“Changes?”  
“Yeah, tonight is 90’s night. Come on in and enjoy.”  
The group entered their old stomping grounds with varying stages of trepidation for what may await. They were pleasantly surprised for the most part. The interior had a new coat of paint and the seating all looked new or close enough to it to give the place a fresh feel to it. 90s music blared from the speakers giving everyone a sense of nostalgia. Trent led the way to what he felt was a choice booth in the corner and everyone sat down. He looked around at the group- his group of family. Jane was on his left, then there was Jesse, followed by Max, and Nick, then his eyes fell to the young woman that was still happily tucked away in the arm that he had draped around her. Everyone got their drinks and talked over each other in an effort to catch up.  
“Okay guys,” Nick stood up, “let’s take this to the dance floor before we age another second and start talking about the young whipper snappers or the good ole days. Come on Max, there are a couple of eager ladies that need us over there.” Nick nodded towards where the girls had been eyeing them from the corner of the bar. Max allowed himself to be tugged over with Nick.  
“Guess that leaves us,” Trent turned to Jesse, Jane, and his girl. “We can’t let Nick and Max show us up and have all the fun.” He gave a broad smirk to the others as he took his lady’s hand and led her to the dance floor where they all got into the groove of the 90s tunes that they’d enjoyed. Everyone enjoyed the faced paced beats, dancing wildly for a while until a slower tune was put into play so that breathes could be regained, restroom breaks could be had, rehydration could be gotten and whatever else was needed could be done for the customers at the Zon. Trent held his girl in his arms closely with one hand splayed across her back and the other in her hair at the base of her neck where he made gentle circular motions with the tip of his calloused index finger. She had her arms around his waist; she had lain against his chest. Having him here- everyone really, was so nice.


	32. That Falsetto Though......

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trent's undiscovered falsetto.....

“Ouch!”  
“Sorry…..sort of,” she sheepishly apologized for being the cause of the back of his head slamming against the wall. Then, she kissed him with fevered passion. She had heard The Spiral and they had improved by leaps and bounds compared to their sporadic sleep deprived practice sessions in the Lane basement in the past, but this duet that Trent and Jesse did with Max and Nick free styling in the background had truly showcased just how far they had all come. It had happened so organically between them all once they were on stage at The Zon, for old time’s sake, at the manager’s request. The sound was a deep hypnotic beat; Nick had reframed from doing his usual ‘wiling out’ at his convenience, Max had kept that guitar chord simple and steady, varying on the riffs that he knew were his strengths in a way that accompanied the piece, Jesse had started the lyrical side with a surprisingly deep baritone, lending a roughness around the edges that was sexy and seductive, and then Trent came in with accompanying lyrics in an amazingly beautiful falsetto that no one there could recall ever hearing. No one- including his girlfriend, who had always found him attractive, but upon hearing his voice in this particular way had found her body at complete red alert with arousal. She couldn’t wait until he got off of the stage and into her arms. Something about his voice in that falsetto- it had her in a state of mind that she had openly mocked others for, but now knew first hand that it was nothing to be trifled with.  
“What the-”  
(v/o) A few high notes and this? Wow!!!!!!  
Trent managed to get the dressing room door open and they stumbled in almost falling, but he managed to balance them and lock the door.   
“So I take it you liked the song?” he smirked watching in fascination as she made fast work of discarding both her top and bottom and then his bottom. He made to take off his tee, but her raspy passion filled voice told him to leave it. “You always manage to surprise me-”  
“You talk too much Lane.”  
She kissed him then and molded her body to his and just as she had thought the light roughness of the soft tee against her delicate skin felt sensational and added a new dimension of sexy to the atmosphere.   
(v/o) Why take off your clothes, but leave on the undies? I can fix that- there, much better. She always feels so good and she makes me feel sooooo…… good. She’s beautiful too……  
“Something wrong?”  
“No why?”  
“Well, you stopped and you’re looking at me…..oddly.”  
He let a finger trace the outline of her face. The finger lingered on her lips, tracing them lightly over and over as he spoke.  
“It just hits me sometimes how much I love you. You make everything better- you make me better.”  
“We complement each other,” she corrected kissing his finger to punctuate each word. “I love you Trent Lane. Now let’s have some fun.” She a coquettish smile before covering his finger with her mouth and giving it firm suckle.  
(v/o) No need to tell me twice……


	33. sometimes the morning after can be a bitch.....

Their kisses were hurried fevered in the darkness of the room. No words had been spoken in the car ride……none were necessary. They both knew what was to take place. So with a kick shut of the door they made their way, with Jesse leading, kissing through the discarding of clothes. The arrangements in these places were all pretty much the same and who cared about any furniture other than the bed anyway. He didn’t need the light; he knew exactly whom he was with. Their breaths were ragged with anticipation. She let her head fell back and cradled his head, as she reveled in the passionately rough kisses that he rained down her throat. She gasped sharply when his mouth clamped down on a breast and his hand caught the other and gave it a firm squeeze and pinch of a firm nipple. When he’d finished feasting on one, he repeated the process on the other. He brought his kisses back up the trail from where he had come, taking more time to linger on the arc of her neck before reclaiming her mouth in the most delicate, yet passion filled kisses. This left her more than ready to feel him inside of her. She shifted beneath him adjusting so that they were at the optimal angle. They both groaned at the merging of their bodies. They then met one another each intensely titillating thrust for thrust, each almost painfully grasping the other as they both let their desires consume them. 

(v/o) I won’t be the first to speak. Look at him…... wonder if he knows that I’m awoke. I’ll shift so that- there, he knows…… still nothing. He’s just sitting with his back to me…… wonder what he’s thinking? Does he think that this was a mistake? Dear God, what if he thinks that this was a mistake!!!!! What if he thinks that it was awful or that I was awful…… We felt too good together though. Our bodies were- It’s not like he doesn’t have experience with women. Obviously, he knows how to please a woman in bed- and the sofa – and against the wall – and- stop, you’re getting off track. What was the point of this vein of thought? Oh, yeah- wonder where his mind is?  
“I’m gonna go for a walk. I’ll- be back.” His voice was thick and husky, something that she would have found sexy under other circumstances, but considering what had just happened between them and the fact that he wasn’t looking at her left her feeling somewhat cold in the wake of what she had thought to be a really good time. Once the door closed, she sat and thought for a moment before getting dressed and leaving after casting a last glance at the room that they had shared.  
(v/o) It is cold as shit out here! What the fuck did I just do? Well, duh- but when the fuck will I learn? I keep doing a repeat on fucking up. It’s like my life is set for it or something.  
He closed his eyes briefly remembering…… he didn’t know how long he had been walking, but the early morning light was piercing through the trees and across the street he saw the familiar golden arches offering the promise of semi-decent hot breakfast that he could take on the go. He stopped outside to light up an old stale cigarette that he’d found in his jacket pocket. That was when he saw him- DeMartino.  
(v/o) Well Good Morning to my ass! Just what I don’t need.  
“Careful, those things will kill ya,” DeMartino sounded all cheerful, before getting in his car and leaving.  
(v/o) He would be all cheerful, the dick!  
Jesse took a regretful drag, threw it to the ground, and stubbed it out with his toe. He made his way inside, got an order for two and took it to go back to the room.

Jesse entered the room and found that it was empty. No note, no text, just an empty room…… he put the bags on the bed flipped on the tv to nothing in particular.  
(v/o) I should text my mom and let her know that everything is okay. She’s been in overprotective mode sine I have been back……. And since we’ll be back on the road soon…… well I don’t want her to worry so much.  
He sent the text and allowed himself to drift off into sleep……


	34. Boston, Quinn, Paul, and Brad

Boston……  
“You talk to your sister lately?” Trent asked his girlfriend that was standing beside him, cutting the potatoes while he did the carrots.  
“Yeah, she’s been…… distant since the fashion show. I tried to get her to come to Boston for a visit, but she wouldn’t give me a definitive answer. What does Brad say?”  
“Not much. He’s usually all about the deadlines and I really thought that he would be all over us to finish this tour, but he’s been more than understanding. His brother is the one that nailed down the finalities of everything. Kiss me.”  
He had added the last as though it were a part of the regular conversation- though it had been a recent addition that she was becoming more than comfortable with- at least privately. She tiptoed to kiss him gently and they both smiled as their eyes held for a moment.  
“That’s my girl.” He spoke softly.  
“Oh geez guys,” Jane interrupted unceremoniously upon entering the kitchen, “can we not do the soft porn in the kitchen.”  
“Ah, you’re just jealous ‘cause Anthony isn’t here so you can compete,” Trent teased keeping a firm grasp on his girl that had been ready to pull back in slight embarrassment.  
“You’re,” yawn, “right.” Jane stretched. “Also, I don’t want my lovely roast to be tarnished by you two.”  
“What?” her roommate raise her brows.  
“I don’t know,” Jane dismissed and got a glass of juice. “I’m just talking smack, but thank you guys for making dinner for me.” She wiggled her way in between them and put her arms around their respective waists.  
“Well you know me in the kitchen,” the petite young woman smirked playfully.  
“Yeah, I do that’s why I’m glad my big brother here is running this show,” Jane replied giving the other girl a gentle squeeze. “So I guess this is goodbye for now?” she turned her face up to Trent.  
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I won’t be too long this time though.”  
“Okay…… and you,” she looked back her best friend, “take care of him while you’re there okay?”  
Her friend nodded and the trio took a moment to enjoy the rareness of their all being together like this…… kind of like old times…..  
“This is Quinn; leave a message after the beep.” Quinn’s voicemail said to her sister when she had called after giving Jane and Trent some time together.  
“Quinn……it’s me. I was- you haven’t returned anyone’s calls. Guess you’re busy with the show. I heard that it was a huge success; I saw live view and it has gotten nothing but positive reviews, so…… just give me a ring soon. Bye.” She hung wondering exactly what was going that Quinn hadn’t returned any calls.

 

Brad arrives……  
“Quinn, its Brad.” Brad had worn his navy Armani in the hopes of impressing the beauty that stood before him backstage of the fashion show. She had been showing a seamstress exactly where to take in a skirt, but flashed a heart melting smile his way.  
“I know silly. We correspond all the time.” She wiped her hands on the charcoal grey slacks that she had on, straightened the cream colored top that magnified her coppery hair, and stood with her hand extended. “Pleased to finally meet you in person.”  
He took the hand that she had extended and they both gave a firm shake. He knew that she and Paul had the entire top floor to themselves for work in one half and a living space in the other. It had looked to be a cozy and convenient situation that he was growing more envious of by the second.  
“I- uh- thought that maybe we could do some lunch,” he stammered out, “you know- to uh- go over your ideas.”  
“Sure. Let’s just find Paul and let him know that I won’t be in here all afternoon like I planned and see if he wants to join us.”  
Brad followed and listened as Quinn went on about everything that they were working on and possible tie-ins as they went from room to room looking for Paul. She stood in his office, hands on her hips thinking with a worried look on her face.  
“He must have gone back to his apartment to grab a nap,” she concluded aloud. “I’ll just pop in and check on him.”  
Brad followed silently as Quinn, with the spare key that she’d gotten from the desk proceeded to head to the apartment across the hall in search of Paul.

Quinn and Brad entered the apartment. Both made no sounds. It was as if they were either hoping- or not hoping to hear some-  
Quiet…… sighs……catch of breath……soft moans……  
Quinn stood at the slightly ajar door to the master bedroom looking in. Brad came in closer behind her to peer inside as well. Quinn gave the door the slightest of pushes and it opened almost like a magician’s reveal to give full viewing of Paul buried face deep between Veronica’s legs that were spread from one end of the large bed- a bed that he had never shared with her, to the other. It was Veronica that noticed her first and she- SMILED!  
“Let’s go Quinn,” Brad took Quinn’s arm and looked into her stricken face before trying to usher her out.  
Upon hearing another voice in the room, Paul had looked up into Quinn’s face in shock from being found out.  
“Quinn, let me explain-” Paul had managed to grab a robe and catch up to them before they had reached the door. She stood looking at him and felt Brad’s hand tense on her arm in anticipation of what to do next. “I’m sorry- I just-” he looked at Brad, as though just realizing that he was there. “Can you just give us a minute?”  
“Fuck no!” Brad could not believe this guy’s nerve. No way was he leaving Quinn alone with this cheating, lying asshole. “Quinn, tell him to give us some privacy.”  
“Sixty seconds,” Quinn’s voice was colder than ice.  
Paul looked as though he had been slapped.  
“It’s not what you think. I don’t love her. I love you.”  
Quinn looked at him, then behind him to where Veronica listened from the bedroom doorway- still nude. Quinn raised her chin slightly and turned to leave with Brad in tow. She felt Paul’s hand on her arm and glared at it, then him before jerking away.  
“It was just sex.”  
In that moment, with him saying that, Quinn felt the sting of all his rejections and the lies surrounding them well from within and almost as if in some kind of surreal alternate reality she felt her hand curl into a fist and saw it as she swung and made contact with Paul’s jaw. Paul went sprawling back sliding on the waxed floor with his robe gaping to reveal his nudity. Veronica ran to help him and Quinn, along with Brad left the room. Brad took the keys from Quinn and listened as she gave him directions to her place as though nothing whatsoever had happened. He followed her up to her apartment saying nothing and waited for the eventual explosion to happen……none came. She simply sat on her sofa looking off in the distance. Brad stood awkwardly looking at her for a moment. In his head he cursed that idiot Paul out for doing something that made no sense.  
“It was just sex……”  
Her voice was small. She sounded frail to Brad. She looked to him then.  
“He said that it was just sex…… like it didn’t mean anything.”  
“How’s about a drink?” He went to the kitchen and searched her fridge.  
“I don’t really have anything strong…… I’m not much of a drinker.”  
“Hey, I found something,” he said returning with the wine bottle and two glasses. She looked at the glass of wine that he handed her. “Quinn?”  
“We were supposed to drink this to celebrate the success of the clothing line launch.” She spoke reflectively, distantly while staring at the glass that was in her hand. “He said that he had too much drink, that he wanted everything to be perfect for me. He was with her…… All of those times when he pushed me away…… he was with her. He only wanted her. –and he just lied to me…… about everything…… and I just believed him.”  
Brad looked at her. He didn’t like where this train of thought was going.  
“Don’t blame yourself for that idiot,” he spoke up.  
Quinn looked as though she’d just realized that he was there.  
“Oh- right, we’re supposed to be working on- something……”  
“Are you kidding me?” Brad took her hand and removed the affronting wine as well. “Don’t worry about it. You have been nothing but gold for me- for the band. Let’s just worry about you right now.”  
Quinn looked into his eyes, fearful at first that she would see harsh judgement for her stupidity, but instead she found kindness in his eyes that beckoned to her like an old friend. He squeezed her hand and gave an encouraging smile. Brad learned the whereabouts of the main stuff in Quinn’s apartment quickly and made use of the delivery/takeout menus that he found in the kitchen while Quinn did as he suggested and took a shower to relax. Brad looked toward where he heard the shower and wondered when she would let it all out. There was usually some kind of anger as backlash…… if the women in his family were any indication, but aside from that well deserved punch that she’d given there had been nothing. There were no swears or declarations of what an asshole Paul was. She hadn’t done anything other than turn off her cell and instructed the doorman not to let anyone else up. Brad had decided then and there that he wouldn’t leave until she was better. He waited until Quinn drifted off late that night to text his brother and let him know that he wasn’t to be disturbed for a while.


	35. Quinn and Brad

Brad had heard her when she came out of the bathroom, but he hadn’t seen her since he had just come back from getting the delivery order from downstairs.   
“Thought we might go out tonight, I feel like stretching my legs,”  
“What did you sa-”  
(v/o) Shit a fucking brick!  
He looked at her from head to toe. Her auburn hair hung in stylish layers to her mid back; it fell softly against her fair complexion and emphasized the largeness of her eyes. She wore diamond studs and a matching dainty diamond bracelet around her wrist; those things were barely noticeable to him. It was the dress or the little there was of it that made him swallow hard. It was cream and had the tiniest straps that he had ever seen. It scooped down in front to hint at the cleavage, but the fabric was so sheer that it served a mere cursory homage to a slip as it clung to her soft curves and fell just shy of where a mini skirt would. It left him momentarily breathless.  
“Brad?”   
“Oh- I ordered in again, but-” he held the bags up in explanation, “whatever you want is fine with me.”  
“I just didn’t want to stay in hiding……you know?”  
“I get it. Let me just put these in the fridge.” He hurried and put them up and returned to the front room. “You sure you want to go out tonight.”  
“Absolutely,” Quinn asserted. “I have been a terrible hostess keeping you cooped up in my little apartment for these last few days and we haven’t even gotten anything work-related done. I kind of owe you, so let me take you to dinner.”  
“You’ve allowed me to be in your company. You owe me nothing,” Brad said sincerely.   
“I need to get back out there anyway. I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I’m withering away from despair.”   
She was using her compact to apply some gloss as she spoke with her back to him. He gave her back side an appreciative once over paying special attention to her beautiful legs, the left of which housed a ankle bracelet that was as intricately beautiful as the one on her wrist. The heels that she wore only make her legs look even more long and shapely. He reluctantly brought his eyes back up and saw that she was watching her. His eyes flicked away and he felt embarrassed at being caught like that. Such a high school move, he had thought.  
“Do I need to change?” he had asked. “I wasn’t sure where you wanted to go, so……”  
“You can if you want, but you look great. Armani is always in vogue.”  
“I’ll just get my jacket then.” He retrieved the jacket to the Charcoal G-Line Basic Sharkskin Two-Piece Wool Suit and helped her into the soft pink faux fur that fell longer than her dress. “Quinn?” he was still close to her, having just made sure that her coat was on properly. She looked up over her shoulder at him. “You look really good.”  
“Thanks Brad.”  
They left for dinner.

 

Dinner  
He knew that it wasn’t about dinner or him when they left. He had enough female relatives to know that this was more about her and what she needed to do to regain some kind of control over that aspect of her life right now. Watching her walk so confidently ensconced in the softness of that coat and knowing that she was practically naked beneath made Brad even more acutely aware of his ever growing attraction to her. It caught him by surprise, not the attraction- he was a man after all, but the way that it had manifested itself. Normally he would enjoy the game of the flirt and reeling in a beautiful woman, but with Quinn he had found himself wanting to protect her from the pain that he had seen in her eyes. Paul had hurt her badly and whenever Brad thought about it, he wanted to hurt the guy. Paul didn’t deserve Quinn she was too good for someone like that douche. So if she needed to get dolled up and go out to show the world and herself that she was still her same beautiful self there was no way in hell that he would deny her that.   
Quinn floated in the restaurant like the social butterfly that she had cultivated herself to be. All eyes were on her and the owners fawned on her, telling her how very much they missed her from coming in and brightening up the place. Quinn was demure with the slight lowering of her lashes and her promises to make sure that she comes back more often and they were lead to the best seat in the center of the room. There were audible gasps when her coat was removed before she sat. The waiter came to nervously take their orders while trying not to openly check out Quinn.   
Brad took it all in with amusement. He had dated- well- kind of- many a beautiful woman, but Quinn seemed to be her own unique breed; she was truly a force to be reckoned with. He gave the waiter his order and looked at Quinn with a smirk.  
“What?” she asked taking a sip of the golden champagne while looking at him with huge innocent eyes.   
“You seem to be enjoying yourself.”  
“I am,” she smiled at him genuinely. “This champagne is delicious.” She took another sip.  
(v/o) I hope so, I don’t order Armand de Brignac Brut Gold NV 6L Rated 94W&S for just anyone, but seeing that look on your face…… best money I ever spent.  
“I’m glad you like it.”  
“I was thinking about going to Boston,” She spoke looking directly at him making it hard for him to completely concentrate on what she was saying, “I’d like to visit my sister and check in with my folks in Lawndale. I wasn’t sure when you had to get back to The Spiral; I know they are getting ready to finish their tour and you were so good about giving Trent the space he needed to work through things and now with me- I know that you have a life to get back to and I don’t want to keep disrupting that.”  
Brad gave an unsure chuckle.  
“You trying to get rid of me or something? I don’t want to crowd you Quinn. If you want me to go, just say so and no hard feelings.” He said everything with a smile and he meant it, but he found himself trying to work past a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat.   
“Not at all,” her hand automatically covered his, “you’ve just been such a good friend. I don’t want to take advantage of that.”  
He felt the warmth of her touch radiate through him.  
“I’m all good. Don’t worry.”  
“Okay,” she smiled at him warmly.  
He smiled at her.  
“What’s say we get out of here?” she looked at him impishly. “There’s this club that is just across town-”  
“You’ve had a few sips of champagne and you haven’t even eaten yet.” Brad was caught off guard by her sudden whimsicalness.   
“I know, but we could tell them to pack it up for us and have it later,” she suggested.  
(v/o) How can I say no to that face?  
Brad made the necessary arrangements with the waiter and left a hefty tip. He watched as Quinn slid back into her coat then took her hand and they both exited to the outside to wait until their driver pulled up. He put an arm around her when he saw her gather her coat in a shiver against the breeze. She looked up at him. He looked down at her. He lowered his head closer to hers.  
(v/o) She’s still hurting man. Don’t take advantage. Who said that? The chick is looking up at me with those ‘come hither’ eyes and I have an attack of conscious or something. What the hell?...... she’s not some girl. This is Quinn. You like talking to her. You laugh with her…… she trusts you……  
“What’s wrong Brad?” Quinn’s voice brought him back.  
“Nothing, car’s here.” Brad was glad that the driver had pulled up and got out to let them in providing a temporary distraction from whatever the heck was going on. They both got in the back seat. Brad did his best not to look at Quinn. Quinn lounged against the seat in a slanted position so that she could look at Brad.  
“Where to Mr. Ruttheimer?” the driver queried.   
“Let’s just go for a long drive.” Quinn suggested.  
“You heard the lady,” Brad said. The driver let the privacy window up.  
“Are you- okay?”  
“Yeah, sure. Why do you ask?”  
“I don’t know. You seem…… different. If you’d rather turn in-”  
“I want whatever you want. I’m not tired. Let’s just see where the night takes us.”  
“Agreed.” She ran her hands through her hair in the back, lifting it out of the coat that had now slightly opened. Brad looked at the long leg that she had crossed closet to him. It looked like flesh colored silk. “You should really talk to Jane about doing some limited edition artwork for some of The Spiral’s covers. It could be like a collectable sold at very specific places and it would put them on a more elite clientele map, as well as mainstream.”  
“That’s a good idea. Get in on the ground floor before she gets too expensive for us,” Brad said half joking. He could tell that Jane was going to be very big in the art world and her helping them would help her as well.   
“Jane will help her brother and friends don’t worry. She’s good about that.”  
He brought his eyes back to hers.   
“You’ve been a huge asset to The Spiral too. Your social media skills top a lot of the people that our company pay top dollar to,” he praised her watching the reflections of the soft car light play across her skin in car.  
“Oh please, any sixteen year old knows how to handle their-”  
“Don’t undercut yourself. You’re brilliant and beautiful.”  
She nodded in appreciation.  
“Thanks Brad.”  
Their eyes met again. Both looked the other over appreciatively, then suddenly they were kissing. Everything happened like an explosion. The kiss was hot sending electrical bolts of passion through them. He pulled her onto his lap needing to feel more of her. One of his hands strayed from where it had been cradling her face to slide down her throat momentarily pausing to allow his thumb to caress the rapid pulse in her neck, then on to stroke the curve of her shoulder where the coat had shifted over to expose.   
She kissed him with a passion that frightened and excited her. She ran her hands in his always perfectly combed hair, reveling in it’s softness before pushing him back against the seat in order to change positions slightly and shrug out of her coat.  
His head hit the back window with a small thud, not that he noticed since the discarding of her jacket meant that she was now in his lap with that thin ‘dress’ hiked up even further. She was reveling in the wonderful sensations that Brad, his kisses, and his hands were bringing forth in her. She silently cursed every button that Armani had as she undid them after he had slid out of his jacket while still kissing. She broke the kiss so that she could kiss the side of his face and rain them down first one side of his neck and then up the other- straying to nip his earlobes on each side.   
He revealed in her kisses and the feel of her. He reluctantly stopped her delicious assault on his neck and kissed an exposed shoulder where the thin strap had slipped off. Each kiss from shoulder to the center of her neck had made her want more and more was what he gave. He slid down in the seat slight slightly so that he was now eye level with he barely covered bosom. His hands cupped her derriere and he leaned forward and took one fabric covered breast in his mouth. The throaty sound of her inhale……the clutching of his head urging him to take in as much as possible…. He willingly obeyed feeling his own needs rushing forward like a locomotive. She impatiently turned slightly so that his mouth could give equal attention to her other breast, something that he was more than happy to do.   
“Brad-”   
His name had never sounded more sweet or seductive to him. He helped to shift her so that she was now poised to straddle him. Their lips met in another kiss and their hands both found their way towards undoing his buckle and zipper. She raised herself slightly never breaking their kiss and allowed him to align himself with her. Then with their eyes connected, their bodies joined. Both were in a state of awed ardor. The intensity of the situation and each of their unexpected responses seemed to surprise them. Their lips met again in a flurry of kisses while their bodies set a tempo that neither had ever experienced, but the two together knew to be their own.  
Their breathes were coming to a steady rhythm and still they were in each other’s arms…… they were still connected even after each had rode their powerful waves of desire. Their heads buried in the crook of each other’s necks, their arms limply holding each other…… neither wanting to move. Brad kissed the cheek nearest him.  
“We should take this back to your place……”  
She nodded not turning to look at him.  
What’s this regret? Well I don’t regret one damn thing.  
She began to shift, but he placed his hands on her thighs to stop her.  
“Not so fast,” he let his hands travel back up her thighs to settle at her waist where he steadied her and started to rotate his hips in a slow grind. “I didn’t mean right this second.”  
He could feel her smile against his cheek, then he could feel her succumbing to what he was doing; soon they were on their way to another fulfilling interlude.


	36. Brad

(v/o) I like this……look at her. She prepossessed me before we even met with her natural charm. This must be what it feels like to be bewitched.   
Brad looked at the young woman lying on the pillow with her red hair fanned out around her. It wasn’t the first time that he had done this. The first morning after they had shared her bed, he had risen with feelings that he couldn’t exactly place. He was used to moving on after all parties involved had done their thing, but he hadn’t moved from Quinn’s side. He had watched her sleep and found that he felt something light flittering inside him. He hadn’t felt it since he had been very young……and he couldn’t but a name to it just yet.  
(v/o) What are you dreaming about that would cause that smile on those lovely lips? Maybe you’re dreaming about these last few nights and days that we have shared. They have been incredible. You’ve been incredible.  
He reached to touch the curve of her shoulder, but pulled back so that he would not wake her.  
(v/o) Rebound…… shit, not these thoughts again. Its classic though and it would never have bothered you before……but that was before Quinn.  
He gazed upon her with a sigh of resignation. This time with her, however brief, had been nothing short of wonderful for Brad. Every day he would wake to watch her as she slept, before ordering up a light breakfast, usually a fruit cup that they had with coffee. The day would progress with various things that kept them in each other’s proximity. He had reluctantly offered to give her space, but she had declined and he always left it up to her as to whether or not he would spend the night. She would effectively answer that before him with a call out to him to make sure that he had locked up before coming to bed.   
The first night had been rather expected since it had been in the wee hours of the morning when they had managed to make it out of the private car and up to her place. They had gotten out of the car after straightening themselves out as best as possible, but even covered up in her fur, Quinn couldn’t hide the fact that her companion had sparked a passion within her. It was evident in them both as they made the short distance to the elevator. Once the doors had closed, they had resumed their seemingly unquenchable kisses. Brad had tried to hold off with just kissing until they got into the apartment, but he found that doing that was about the same as trying to mop up Niagara Falls with a tissue square. Quinn had managed to wrap them both up in the fur while kissing him. The feel of her soft, willing body molding to the contours of his solid muscular one and the very real image of that tiny dress that had once been so strategically placed all swirled together deliciously making him feel more heady than the first time he had tried marijuana. Both had been spurred on in the confines of the elevator by the intoxicating smell of their fast building sexual play; he had took what she had so readily offered and had given as good as he had gotten until they both realized that the doors had opened. With shaky laughs and still high on each other, they had gotten into the apartment. The plan had been to eat some of the stuff that they had brought home or some of the food that he had ordered earlier…… of course, that had been before he had tossed his jacket off and she’d seen his shirt still open and unbuttoned with his hair tousled. He had seen her looking at him with her mouth slightly open and all it had taken was the flick of her tongue across her delectable lips for him to forget about the food. She had let that coat fall to the floor and motioned for him to come to her; he had done so while holding her gaze. She had let his shirt slide off and to the floor while allowing her hands and eyes to go over each muscle and explore the width of his chest. She had found the faint scar just above his right rib to be of particular interest. Brad was normally careful about showing such imperfections to the ladies, since it was a turn off, but the evening had taken him by surprise and he didn’t have his usual plans and tactics in place.   
Quinn had felt him tense slightly when she had bent to take a closer look. She didn’t understand why, it was tiny and only served to make him more attractive. She kissed it realizing that it must have caused him pain at one time. She had run her fingertips over it again lightly, causing him to seize her wrist. She stopped to look at him and proceeded to kiss the scar again. She watched as he closed his eyes tightly and then there seemed to be a feeling of relief to wash over him. She then rose up to kiss him on the corner of his mouth.  
“Let’s go to bed,” she had whispered and had taken his hand to lead him to her room. They had both slept in the next day.  
The following few days would seem to flee from them, leaving both of them to feel freer than they had ever felt. Spending the days together, talking about life and everything that they could think of made them feel as if the world was tailor made for them. Everything seemed brighter and somehow more attainable. The nights were filled with ardor that seemed to grow. One thing was certain, neither was ready for it to end.

The Phone Call……  
“Brad get your ass back to Lawndale. You have to meet with The Spiral and make sure that they finish this much delayed tour.” Brett’s voice barked out over the phone piercing Brad’s sleepy brain.   
Brad sat up straighter from where he had been lounging with Quinn lying next to him on the couch. They had been discussing the possibility of going out for lunch the next day and cuddling, another first for him, when the phone rang. Brad had answered it at Quinn’s insistence.  
“Okay, okay.”   
“I mean it. What the hell man? What’s with the MIA? Let me guess, you met up with a couple of new, hot-”  
“Brett, come on.”  
“Oh, let me guess- she or they are right there. Don’t worry, just finish up and get back to work. Play time is over man.”  
Brad looked down at Quinn’s averted face knowing that she had heard everything.  
(v/o) Thanks a lot Brett!


	37. Playtime is over......

Quinn and Brad……  
“Playtime is over, huh?” her voice sounded small and slightly distant.  
“Quinn……”  
“He’s right,” Quinn’s voice perked up, “you have a job to get back to and I have a lot to sort out too. It’s not like I expected you to stay here and babysit me forever.”   
The whole while that she had been talking, it was in that reflexive fast paced voice that she got when she wanted to rush through something, Brad could feel the distance between them growing. Even the way that she remained at his side felt more rigid.  
“I never thought of this as babysitting you. I- it’s-”  
“Oh, I know it’s been fun for me too, but your brother’s right. You do have a life to get back to.”  
Brad was silent and focused on the chair that sat across the room.  
(v/o) She can’t get rid of you fast enough. First opportunity and poof! ......rebounds never last.  
“Tell you what,” Quinn sat up, “I will get dinner ready and by that I mean order in, while you make your arrangements, okay?”  
She didn’t wait for an answer and went into the kitchen to route through the menus that she kept neatly stacked on the counter. Brad retreated to the bathroom to clear his head.   
“Brad?” Quinn’s voice reached out to him through the bathroom door where he had been practically hiding out.  
“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec.”  
He splashed some water on his face and looked at his reflection. She was funny, smart, and- and going through some shit right now. Shit that she didn’t want anyone back home to know about either. That fucking asshole that was supposed to be her boyfriend-   
(v/o) Get your shit together man. You have been fortunate enough to be in the bed of the hottest woman that you will ever meet and just because it’s time to get back to work you want to pout? Get the fuck out of here! Now, put on your big boy boxers and enjoy this last night with her before she comes to her senses and changes her mind dumbass.  
Brad dried his face and headed out to join Quinn for dinner.

Nick and Max……  
“See, I told you. You’re looking more like yourself now. How do you feel?”  
Max shook his head with a bit of a smile on his lips. Nick had all over him for moping about his breakup with Stacey. He had given him exactly 24 hours to do the depression thing, then it was time to suck it up and move on to the next one. Max had given in because, hey what did he have to lose anyway and Nick always delivered on having a good time. Besides, he had thought as they were in the bar, it wasn’t as though Stacey had ever acknowledged him as her real boyfriend to her parents. For her, he- their ‘relationship’ didn’t exist. Nick had got him set up with this girl with long dark hair; dark eyes and a body that would make the pope quit his job. Max had thought, ‘where does he even find someone that looks like that in a town as ordinary as Lawndale’ but tonight his was not to question why, but instead to go with the flow. He did that completely and without question to his delight.   
“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, I always say.” He made his declaration while passing Max the take out breakfast that he had gotten.  
“What about you and those girls that you were talking to?”  
“No haps, last night was all about making sure that you are on the road to recovery and shit.”  
“What about the girl that I saw you with before I left? That conversation looked interesting.”  
Nick thought back to the young woman with the beautiful smile and piercing brown eyes.  
“She was nice.” He shook himself out of it and looked at his friend. Last night had did Max a world of good, but Max was still hurting and it would take time. Nick just didn’t want Max to sink to that low place and staying busy would insure that.   
“You two just talked?” Max’s voice was incredulous. “That’s a first.”  
“I resemble that remark.”  
“You sure do.”  
They both laughed.  
“Heard from Jesse?”  
Nick cleared his throat.  
“Yeah, some major shit went down with him and Jane. He ah…… he’s been going through a lot more than I realized.”  
“What happen, he eat her art project or something?” Max laughed, but saw the seriousness on Nick’s face and stopped. “What happened, they hook up and she catch feelings or something?”  
“Yeah……something like that.”  
“Well what happened to DeMartino?”  
“They’re still together…… back in Boston.”  
“What the hell-”  
Nick relayed as much of the story that Jesse had given him after showing up quite drunk and needing to talk. Max ate and listened to everything.  
“That is so fucked up.”  
“I know.”  
“How could we have not known for like years and shit?”  
“Well……”  
“Don’t tell me you knew back when-”  
“Not for certain, but I saw how protective he was of her and how he paid attention to everything that she said or did. Remember when that guy was trying to talk to her when she was helping set up the year before ‘glasses’ moved here and became her bestie?” Max nodded. “You remember how Jesse practically destroyed the poor guy?” Max thought about it and shuddered slightly. Jane had politely tried to tell the guy that she wasn’t interested, but the guy was not having it and kept trying to talk to her. The final straw was when he stopped her from leaving by taking hold of her elbow. Jesse had exploded off the stage where that had been doing a sound check and proceeded to pound on the guy. It had taken all of The Spiral and Jane to get him to stop. He had stormed outside with Trent and Jane trailing him to talk. I just thought it had to have blown over a while ago.”  
“Mmm…… what does Trent say?”  
“Haven’t talked to him; didn’t really want to do anything too heavy considering……”  
“Oh yeah, his dad and shit. He seems better about all of that.”  
“Yeah…… his girl has been good for him, more so than I thought.”  
Both men remained thoughtful.  
“They’re good for each other.” Max thought out loud. “I didn’t get it at first, what with her being so stand offish, but they seem to bring each other out…… in a good way.”  
“Nice to see…..”  
“Yeah……”  
“Hey Max?”  
“Yeah?”  
Nick looked at Max with a serious expression on his face and then all of a sudden Max heard the unmistakable sound of Nick breaking wind.  
“Oh, you nasty motherfu-,” Max hurried away from the room and Nick’s laughter, that had quickly filled with Nick’s stench.


	38. Jesse

Jesse……  
“Come in,” Valerie’s voice called from the other side of the door that Jesse had knocked on.  
Jesse entered the room and watched as Valerie continued to pack without looking at him.   
“Where are you going? We don’t leave for another couple of days.”  
“I know.” Her voice was level. “I’m done here though. Quinn is doing an outstanding job on the social media circuit. My blog is just like a secondary footnote. At this point, it won’t be missed.”  
“Well, why not-”  
“I’ve got other things lined up,” she lied, closed that suitcase and opened another. “Probably head back to New York and talk to some people that I met at the fashion show.”  
“Wait, slow down a sec,” Jesse moved closer trying to make her look at him. “I really need to talk to you about-”  
“I really don’t have time. I still have to return the rental-”  
He blocked her path when she had tried to step around him. That’s when he smelt the vodka.  
“You’ve been drinking.”  
She swallowed and looked at him.  
(v/o) That sip was not nearly enough.  
“I don’t think that you should be driving anything right now.”  
“It was a sip Jesse and I am just fine. Did you want something or what?”  
“Like I said, we need to talk.”  
Valerie shifted her eyes away. She didn’t feel ready for this conversation.  
“I really don’t want to Jesse.”  
“Why not?”  
“What’s the point? Nothing has changed.”  
“You don’t mean that.”  
(v/o) No, I don’t…… at least not for me.  
“Fine, say what you need to say.”  
He stood looking down at her. She couldn’t bear to drag her eyes away from his.   
“I’ve loved her since I can practically remember and it has changed over time, but it’s always been there. I waited too late to tell her how I felt- she had moved on by the time that I felt that I could.”  
(v/o)I know that you love her Jesse. Any idiot could see it whenever you were in the same room with her.  
“It never occurred to me that chicks- girls- ladies, other than her could be anything more than a good time.”  
“Okay, I get it. She is your one true love. No one else will ever measure up.” Valerie threw her hands up and backed away in surrender. She didn’t want to hear anymore of his declarations of love for this person.   
“Valerie wait,” Jesse followed her to where she began to resume slinging the rest of her things in the suitcase. Jesse placed a hand over hers to stop her. She had her back to him and the touch of his hand on hers seemed to be magnified. Her head seemed to swim. “I didn’t say any of that. It’s just something I never thought of.”  
“Why?”   
“I know I’m not the smartest guy in the world and the girls that I meet all want a good time, so when I meet someone- a woman, that’s ‘real’, I don’t see why she would take someone like me seriously. So when you actually talked to me I was honored and considered you a friend.”  
Their voices were but whispers in the already quiet room.   
(v/o)Friends……  
“Jesse, you’re not stupid. You have a very……unique look at things. You don’t just spout off a bunch of stuff to sound smart and when you do speak, it’s because there’s something worth saying. Thing is, I saw you that night- both of you. Nick had mentioned that I should go to that place cause everyone was gonna be blowing off steam before you guys close. I thought that it would be fun. I get there and you’re all starry eyed on the dance floor until some blonde interrupts. You guys gave an impromptu performance that was very classic VH1. Glad I live casted it to my blog, but I digress. At first I thought that the blonde was one of your ‘fans’ but she and Jane talked, and then Jane left…… I should have,” she shook her head remembering, “but I didn’t. I followed. The way you two looked at each other, it was heart wrenching. I saw her walk back to you and kiss you. I turned to leave then, that was all I needed to see. I went back in and ordered a drink. You came in soon after looking shaky.”  
Jesse closed his eyes briefly. He remembered going back in and seeing Valerie at the bar. She had said something- asked him if he was okay. He had asked her if she wanted to get out of there for a while. She had agreed to go with him and he had gone to the nearest place with a bed. He had needed to get that scene with Jane out of his head and another warm body seemed like the easiest way to do it. Thing is, he hadn’t counted on Valerie being there and he hadn’t expected to feel anything other than temporary release. Being with Valerie had done more than he had anticipated. What had started out as a way for him to forget something painful had worked all too well and now he didn’t understand everything that was going on with himself. He only knew that he wasn’t ready to let go of Valerie just yet.  
“I realized the next morning after you left that you hadn’t come back inside on your own. She had pushed you away. That’s the only reason that you had me there.” Valerie paused for a moment before continuing. “You put her on this pedestal that- that- well, no one can be expected to live up to that,” she mumbled the last to herself.  
“Stop,” His voice was low…… serious.  
“Why? I’m only telling the truth. We’re friends right? That’s what you said friends?” she practically spit out the word with clear disdain and spun away from him.  
“You’re drunk so-”  
“She could have let you go, free and clear, but no-” the young lady cleared her throat and took another swig of her drink. “She had to keep you hanging on…… so selfish. She just let you watch as she slid out of your reach. You probably don’t even remember what your life was like without her in it do you? Don’t bother answering that, it was rhetorical.”  
“I’ll get you some water-”  
“No!” she yelled. “I’m not drunk. I’m just- just-”  
He reached to take her hands in his and looked down into her very large and scared looking eyes.  
“I just hate to see someone being played like this,” she finished and tried to move from his grasp, but he wouldn’t let her. “Let me go Jesse. I need to get back to my packing.” She wrenched herself free and tearfully stumbled her way towards the door that she had every intention of throwing him out of.  
“Don’t…… go……” Jesse’s voice was strained.  
She paused with her hand over the nob.  
“Please……”  
(v/o)You have no idea what you’re asking Jesse. I can’t be here with you and pretend……it’s too hard.  
She turned and looked at him. He stood only a few feet away. Try as she might, she couldn’t not look at his eyes…… the brown were deep chasms that held so much unspoken feeling……it was a shame none were for her she thought before removing her hand from where it had hovered.  
“Okay Jesse, let’s talk.”  
She waited and looked at him expectantly.  
“The other night-”  
“Was a mistake, I get it. You wanted someone else and she wasn’t available. I was just a poor substitute.”  
“Will you just shut up and let me talk.”  
She pursed her lips.  
“I know how it looks, but it wasn’t a mistake…… at least not to me.” He shifted his stance before continuing. “I hope-” he cleared his throat, “I hope that you don’t think that it was a mistake either. I like you Valerie.”  
Valerie wasn’t sure what she should believe. No way could he have just ‘gotten over’ his feelings after one romp, but still…… he did look so sincere.


	39. Quinn pops into town......

“Quinn…… hey, what are you doing here?” Helen was surprised at her daughter’s appearance at her office.  
“Can’t a daughter visit her mom?”  
Helen looked at her daughter through shrewd lawyer’s eyes and knew that there was more.   
“I just thought that I would touch base with everyone in Lawndale before heading to Boston.”  
“Oh,” Helen brightened up, “visiting your sister?”  
“Yes.”  
“That’s great. Is Paul joining you? Your father and I would love to have you both over for dinner.”  
Quinn was momentarily thrown and cursed herself because it wasn’t as though she hadn’t expected to be questioned about Paul.  
“No mom, Paul isn’t with me.”  
“Oh?” Helen knew that there was definitely something more going on now, but was reluctant to press it seeing how things had gone so wrongly with her other daughter. Still, Quinn was her child and she needed to know that she was there for her. “I hope you know that- well- I only want what’s best for you and your sister.” Helen’s words were quick, as though admitting them were an unwanted action. “I recognize that, at times I can be a bit…… abrasive, but I do mean well and I am working on it.”  
Quinn was more than a little stunned. Her mother never admitted to any kind of weakness, especially with her children.  
“Okay mom.” Quinn longed to be able to open up about things, but a larger part of her just wanted to move right on past it.   
(v/o) Why rehash the ugly? It only gets uglier……  
“So let me take you to lunch then,” Helen offered pleasantly. “We’ll see if you’ve dad can join us and make a family thing out of it.”  
“Actually, I already talked to dad and he’s making lunch at home. I came to try and coerce you into joining us,” Quinn countered with a smirk reminiscent of her sister.   
“That would be lovely dear,” Helen declared, then stopped short stacking her papers, “He’s not making that chili again is he? It’s delicious, but the black beans…… they give me such heart burn.”  
“No mom, he’s doing something different that he promised was healthy and delicious.”  
(v/o) Those to words do not automatically go hand in hand for me, but okay sweetie.  
Helen smiled at her daughter and after giving her secretary instruction, they left.

To everyone’s delight Jake made a wonderful lunch complete with a light salad and wraps. Quinn enjoyed her time with her parents and found it oddly comforting being in her childhood home. After lunch and her mom had went back to the office, she found herself wandering through the house touch familiar things and remembering old conversations. She stood in the doorway to her old room looking at it and seeing her teenage self sprawled on the bed phone in one hand, fashion magazine in the other prattling on and on to the Fashion Club about whom she was currently planning on dating.  
(v/o) Ah……the good old days……  
She sighed……  
“Honey, you okay?” Jake’s voice interrupted her thoughts.  
“Sure dad.”   
(v/o) She’s wearing that fake smile that she does when she doesn’t want anyone to know what she’s feeling……just like her mother.  
(v/o) It’s, okay dad……you’ve always had more of a kinship with my sister…… Odd that I can call her that so easily in my head and I was so set on not doing it publicly for fear of my popularity status……it seems like a lifetime ago.   
“I’m gonna head to the grocery store for supplies; would you like to join me?”  
“Sure.”  
She grabbed her purse and they headed to the store.  
Quinn was surprised that Jake was so adept at the grocery shopping. She watched as he picked out good choices- mostly and talked about the different meals that he was thinking of preparing.   
“Mom’s really lucky to have you dad. You’re a good guy.”  
Jake was momentarily surprised by such flattering statements.  
“I’m lucky to have her too honey. In fact, I’m lucky to have all of you lovely ladies in my life.”  
They smiled at each other.  
“I’m gonna get some personals dad,” Quinn turned down the feminine care aisle and almost bumped into someone. “Sorry-”  
“It’s okay. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”  
“Stacey? Hey.” Quinn couldn’t believe that she had literally bumped into her old friend. “What are you doing here?”  
Stacey made to cover the package that she was carrying, but it was too late. Quinn’s eyes had already glimpsed the pregnancy test. Quinn’s eyes went back to Stacey’s. Stacey looked as though she were about to puke.  
“Wait here, I’ll be right back.” Quinn went and quickly found her dad two aisles over. “Dad, I have to go.”  
“What- why?”  
“I ran into an old friend and turns out she needs my help.”  
Jake looked down at his daughter. She had certainly matured a great deal.   
“Is there anything that I can do to help?”  
“I’m not sure yet dad.” Quinn answered honestly. “I’ll call later about dinner okay?”  
He nodded and watched her hurry off.

Spiral Tour Bus……  
“Hello.”  
“Hi Brad……it’s Quinn.”  
(v/o) Best to keep this simple, that way I will have the element of surprise.  
“I know- I mean your name came up so……”  
“Right, I was wondering……can you send me the itinerary for the tour? I’m thinking about meeting up with you guys.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, I have some ideas that could make this wrap up a huge anticipatory event for their next tour.”  
“Oh, okay.” Brad’s voice dropped slightly.  
(v/o) Of course it’s about work. What? Did you think that she missed you and needed to see you or something?  
“Thanks Brad. I’ll let you know when to expect me.”  
“Okay Quinn.”  
They both hung up their respective phones; Brad put his phone down and picked up the social section of the paper that he had gotten before leaving New York. There had been a picture of Quinn and himself splashed across the middle with questions regarding their relationship- or rather the depth of it considering what she had on and the absence of her fiancé. According to the article there had been no denial or confirmation when trying to reach Quinn or Paul on the status of their impending nuptials.


	40. Boston, then......Back on the Road

         “Hey sis,” Quinn greeted the smaller woman once the door was answered to the apartment that her sister now shared with Jane.

         “Hey.” She was aware that Quinn was coming on her way out to meet up with The Spiral. Their father had called and told her as much as he had known which wasn’t that much other than he felt that something was amiss with Quinn and Paul. “So, I hear that you’re on your way to meet up with The Spiral?”

         Quinn entered and took a seat on the sofa.

         “Yeah, thought I we could get some shopping in today and then lunch if you could spare some time- my treat.” Quinn sat there on the sofa legs perfectly crossed wearing and all navy Slim Fit 2 Button Stand Collar Single Breasted Linen blazer Jacket that gave a nod to a peplum with its abbreviated flare right at the waist, matching tailored to fit pants that gave excellent fit to her legs, and Funtasma Anchor 22 heels in a crisp white with a Mary Jane strap, feminine bow and adjustable buckle on the strap.

         “I could move some things around,” her mind was already shifting her already full schedule to accommodate her sister, an act that was new and yet comforting to her. It’s no secret that she and Quinn weren’t exactly close growing up- for a lot of reasons, but as they’d gotten older and both had matured, it had become a welcome change.

         “Good. Now tell me, how are you and Trent? Everything okay?”

         “……yes……why?”

         “Oh no reason,” Quinn shifted her eyes away hoping that she’d missed her sisters all too quick eye. “I was just making sure……”

         “Trent and I are fine. We’re-” the older sibling looked at her perfectly polished sister sitting there and remembered their father’s concerns. “What about you and Paul?”

         Quinn didn’t meet her gaze.

         “Quinn……”

         “We broke up.” Her voice was strong, but she still couldn’t meet her sister’s gaze.

         “And……?”

         “We found him- with- with his assistant.” Quinn’s eyes flashed the anger and humiliation that she had felt during those awful moments.

         _That Bastard! –and who’s we?_

         She stood feeling a bit awkward. Showing emotions were still new to her and though Trent had eased her through much of her fears to do so, that had been with him- it still got a bit- off, with others.

         “Why don’t we have lunch here? We can talk and……stuff.”

         Quinn nodded and watched as her sister left towards the kitchen and returned with a few take out menus. This made Quinn smile.

         “What?” the shorted woman asked sorting the menus between them.

         “It’s good to know that we have some things in common.” She gave nod to the menus. “I have my own collection too.”

         They both gave a light hearted laugh.

         “Never said I was much of a cook,” she said offhandedly with a shrug.

         “I’m sure Trent can help you in that department.”

         She shrugged.

         “Coffee?” she got up and set the Keurig to get ready and watched as Quinn chose what she wanted.

         They placed their delivery orders and made their coffees.

         “……so you and Paul broke up. Want to talk about it?”

         “Not particularly. I have put him behind me,” she sipped at her coffee, “way behind me.”

         _No one’s that well-adjusted._          Quinn saw the skepticism and although she understood it, it still annoyed her.

         “I was hurt- more than a little, but……” She thought on her time with Brad after Paul and a small smile flittered across her lips.

         “But what? And who was with you?”

         Quinn didn’t blush, but she came close before answering her sister.

         “Brad, I was with Brad. He was in town to discuss The Spiral’s big finale and possible upcoming tour. He was really sweet and took care of me.” Quinn stated with affection that her sister was yet to see towards any of the other men that had pursued her- including Paul.

         “How did you leave things with Paul?”

         “I told you, it’s over. He was unfaithful and I deserve better than that.”

         “I don’t mean to pry,” the shorter woman started sitting back to study her sister with a more cunning eye, “but you seem awfully……okay for someone who just broke up with their fiancé. Why is that?”

         This time Quinn did blush.

         “Quinn!”

         “He cheated on me!” she defended.

         “So you just used some poor schmuk? Poor guy probably don’t know what hit him. Do you even know his name?”

         “I didn’t use him. We are two consenting adults.”

         “I’m not trying to make you feel bad,” the older lowered her voice in a gentler tone. “It’s just that- well, rebound relationships are just that. They are something to do to get your mind off of the person that hurt you. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

         “I’m okay, promise.” Quinn said it with such meaning that her sister was tempted to believe her, but the countless scores of rebound situations from co-workers or even as she walked through the campus, had shown her otherwise.

         “What’d you say to the guy? You kept it light right?”

         “Uh- sure.”

         “Quinn, who is this guy?” Quinn’s voice sounded off.

         “Ahh…..Brad?”

         “Are you asking me or are you really telling me that you and Brad- that you- did you go all the way with him?”

         Quinn could have laughed at the way her sister was reacting. Seeing any emotion at all on her was always a surprise, but this kind of outburst was something that Quinn had never witnessed.

_All the way and then some……_

         “All the way? No one says that anymore.” Quinn almost snickered, but given the look that her sister gave her, she thought better of it. “If you’re asking if Brad and myself were intimate, then yes, we were.”

         _Intimate……_

         “Do you think that you have feelings for Brad?” the smaller woman asked studying her sister’s reaction carefully. There was definitely something up.

         “Brad had been nothing but good to me,” she remained thoughtful, “so yeah, I have some genuine feelings for him. He and I……we vibe off of each other.”

         _I’m sure you do……_

         Quinn cleared her throat.

         “Have you told mom that you’re here and not the dorms?”

         Her sister acknowledged the change in conversation.

         “My living arrangements are my own business……and if the paperwork for next term changed without her knowledge, then good for me.”

         The two sisters smirked at each other and drank from their cups.

 

 

The Spiral……

         “Okay everyone from the top and Max hang back a bar on the second chorus and let’s see how that sounds,” Trent was getting ready to count down into the next song when Brad came in and waved him over. He looked over his shoulder at his group and gave them a take five. “Sup Brad?”

         “Trent, as you know these last couple of concerts mark the end of this tour and I understand that Brett has briefed you on it.” Trent nodded. “Well the basic concept of the show will remain, but I am making a few……artistic changes to the look of everything that I wanted to go over with you. It will tie in to the upcoming tour that the Spiral is set to do.” He pulled out the papers from the folder that he carried and showed Trent some sketches of what he had planned.

_Looks expensive……_

         “Don’t worry, I’m within budget.”

         _Brett and Charles would kill me otherwise._

         “Anyway, this will also highlight each of you. I have interviews lined up with some magazines for right afterwards so I will be bringing in a coach for you guys so that you know what to say and how to say it.”

         “They ask a question and we answer, right?”

         “Pretty much.”

         “I think we can handle that.”

         “I know……but, the wrong thing said in the wrong way can kill an up and coming group.” Brad looked at the musician, then over Trent’s shoulder at the others. “I know, but it’s for your own protection and couldn’t hurt to know what to steer clear of right?”

         “I’ll talk too, ‘em.”

         “Thanks.” Brad cleared his throat. “Have you heard from Quinn?”

         _So that’s what he wanted……_

         “I don’t really talk to her directly that much.”

         “She mentioned something about meeting up with us somewhere on the road……”

         “Like I said……I haven’t heard from her. I could check with-”

         “No, no that’s not necessary.” Brad back tracked. “I was just curious.”

         Trent studied the younger man for a moment.

         “You into her?”

         He didn’t really need the confirmation; Brad’s eyes told him all he needed to know.

         “She’s engaged.”

         _She hasn’t told them. Maybe she and Brad made up. Maybe she took him back. She was in love with him…… He probably sought her out and begged her to take him back. She probably forgave him…… they probably made up…… in every room of her place too. She prob- Oh for fucks sake Brad- GROW THE FUCK UP! Get your nuts up and leave the panties for the chicks. You’re a Ruttheimer, no chicks would come near us before- you grew up, got your shit together and now you know what works for you. Long term ladies like her are NOT for you. Stick with the single digit IQ’s and one-nighters. Lay a couple of them and you’ll be back to normal._

         “Just concerned about a colleague,”

Brad’s voice was curt. Trent watched as Brad snapped the folder close and straightened up.

“I’ll let you guys get back to it.”

Trent continued watching as Brad strolled off.

_Dude’s got it bad……_


	41. Jesse...... thinking......

Jesse lay back in his quarters on the bus and thought about Lawndale or more accurately his time in Lawndale and how he and Valerie had connected there. He didn’t want to hurt her and he knew in his gut that what he had shared with Jane so many years ago…… were a thing of the past. A part of him would always have feelings for Jane…….and now there was Valerie…… She had been exactly what he had needed when she had shown up at his mother’s home……

         “Jesse, you’ve got company,” his mother said from outside his door.

         Jesse rolled over and got up from where he’d been sprawled out on his bed and got up.

 _Company? Wasn’t the guys then, must be Brad….._  

         He went to the front room and found Valerie there.

         “Valerie-”

         “Hey Jesse.”

         He shuffled his feet.

         “What’re-”

         “I thought I-”

         They had spoken at the same time, then both had looked away with a smile.

         “You first,” he suggested.

         “I thought that I would check in and see how you guys are doing.”

         “Pretty good. Trent’s……better so we’ll be back at it soon.”

         “Would you all like something to drink?” Jesse’s mother popped her head in to ask.

         “No thanks Mrs. Moreno.”

         “No thanks ma.”

         The older woman gave them both a gentle smile before leaving. Jesse and Valerie looked at each other. Maybe you’d like to get some lunch or dinner and we can catch up?” Valerie suggested.

         “I’d-”

         “I’m making chicken parmesan for dinner,” his mother enticed them from the kitchen.

         “Sorry,” Jesse said in a low voice.

         “It’s okay,” she smiled at him. “I’d love to join you both,” she said this louder to his mother.

         “You didn’t have to do that.”

         “Yeah I did. Something tells me she can cook,” with that Valerie turned to see if she could be of use to his mother in the kitchen.

 

Later……

         “You really didn’t have to stay.” Jesse said later when he and Valerie sat at the kitchen table and his mother had left to play bingo.

         “Are you kidding me? If she cooks everything like that, then I’m moving in.”

         They both chuckled.

         “Your mom is so nice.” Valerie said into the night air. They sat side by side on the old patio swing after his mom had left.

         “Yeah, thanks.”

         “Your dad?”

         “He’s dead.”

         _Woah! His voice is so cold._

         “I’m sorry.”

         “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” He stared off for a while. “He wasn’t nice to her. She deserved better.”

         She looked at his profile, the hard stare that was on his face and felt sorry that she’d unknowingly caused it. She placed a hand on his knee and their eyes met.

         “Didn’t mean to ruin such a nice evening Jesse.”

         “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.”

He smiled at her. Valerie felt her heart skip. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips. They both looked ahead each feeling the warm blush of their newly budding romance.

Presently, Jesse smiled into the darkness remembering the gentle warmth of that kiss. Everything had seemed simple then. He liked her and she liked him, so they had kissed. It hadn’t mattered about anything else and he had been thinking only of her……

         _Then I fucked everything up……I hurt her. I chased the past and hurt someone that in my present. Will I ever learn?_


	42. Quinn visits The Spiral

         “Pregnant?” Max looked at Quinn’s imposing figure standing before him with her arms crossed over her bosom and wearing an all-white Chanel Suit with soft gold adorning her ears, neck, and ankle. Max looked at Quinn as though there had to be more than her silent accusation behind the statement on Stacey’s condition.

         _He doesn’t know…… or even suspect. God, he looks upset- and sad…… Damn it! Well…… Stacey is still gonna need help and he has a responsibility to her- and their child._

         “Taking care of a child isn’t easy under the best of circumstances. She’s scared and doesn’t know how to tell her parents-”

         “That’s not the only thing she doesn’t know how to tell them,” Max muttered remembering his humiliation standing there on their perfect all American porch.

         “What……?” Quinn didn’t understand his remark, but figured that it must have something to do with Max and Stacey’s breakup.

         Max looked at her.

         _Perfectly polished……are you anything like Stacey? Would you do what she did? Or didn’t do? You guys are friends……. The way that you came charging in here on her behalf speaks volumes._

         Quinn looked at him closely, studying his reaction.

         “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

         Max shrugged and shook his head.

         “Tell her I’ll do whatever she needs me to. I’ll help however I can.”

         “So there’s no chance for reconciliation?” Quinn had been more optimistic before her confrontation with Max. She had been certain that once he found out about the pregnancy, Max would be able to try and work things out with Stacey. Stacey hadn’t given her any details beyond the fact that she was pregnant and Stacey had no idea that Quinn had taken it upon herself to go and see Max about it. Looking at Max now, Quinn realized that in her rush to protect her friend, she hadn’t really thought about how everything would affect Max. She had made a rash assumption that he must have done something to cause the break up but now……

         “Just let her know that I’ll do whatever she asks.” Max bit out.

         “Max……”Quinn touched his arm gently sensing rather than seeing his pain, “I’m sorry about coming in all high and mighty, but- well-”

         “You were looking out for your friend. I get it.”

         “She didn’t really say much about your breakup……?”

         Max looked away from Quinn’s probing eyes.

         “According to her, we were never together.” He looked back at her to explain, “She never told her parents about us and the only reason I know is because I went to surprise her when we were in Lawndale and she was so embarrassed. Her mom probably thought that I was some kind of-”

         “Oh, Max I’m so sorry…… I- I didn’t know.”

         “Not exactly something I want to advertise.”

_Damn it Stacey, why didn’t you tell me?_

         Quinn adjusted her composure a bit.

         “Well, now there’s someone else to think about. The baby-”

         “Just tell her that I’ll do whatever she wants. No child should have to feel unwanted by their parent.”

         Max picked up his gear and left the rehearsal stage.

         “You sure tore into him.” Trent’s voice almost made her jump. She turned to where he had reentered the door.

         “She’s pregnant and he dumped her.” Quinn defended, but given her conversation with Max, she knew that there was more to it than Stacey had led her to believe.

         “I know that Stacey’s your friend, but- and don’t get mad, you should let them handle this- thing that they have.”

         “Stacey needs someone in her corner. She’s not thinking clearly-”

         “Fine, be in her corner, but stay out of the middle of their relationship- or whatever it is.”

         Quinn gave a small nod.

 

On the bus……

         “What are you gonna do?” Nick asked Max once Max had relayed his conversation with Quinn.

         “I told her to tell Stacey that I would do whatever she wanted.” He looked at his old friend. “……and I will. The kid shouldn’t have to suffer because I’m not go-”

         “Man, fuck that shit. You ain’t gotta do a damn thing. She treated you like shit- serves her right for-”

         “Lay off Nick,” Brad’s voice cut in. Customarily he stayed out of his clients business unless it affected the band, but Max was clearly hurting and though Nick meant well with his friend, Max could only feel the pain right now.

         Nick looked at Brad, then back at Max.

         “I’m just sayin’……you have to look out for yourself too.”

         Max nodded and headed back to have some much needed privacy in his space on the bus.

         “Where’s Quinn?” Brad asked of Nick.

         “Back in the rehearsal building I guess.”

         Brad took off towards the place where The Spiral was using for rehearsal.


	43. Relationships......

         “I really wish that you hadn’t gone there Quinn,” Stacey told her over the phone. “Max has enough going on- with the tour- and stuff.”

         “You can’t just let him walk away from his responsibilities Stacey. You have an obligation to yourself and to the baby- and so does he. I tell ya though; you might have misjudged this whole situation.” Quinn spoke remembering the sorrow in Max’s eyes. “He seemed……quite remorseful for whatever happened between you two. You should at least talk to him- if only to make sure of your feelings, that and define your boundaries because of the baby.”

         Stacey was silent.

         “……Stacey?”

         “What did he say Quinn?”

         “He said that he would do whatever you wanted.” Quinn tried to gauge her friend, but found it hard to do so over the phone. “Talk to him- in person, then see okay?”

        Stacey was quiet.

        “Stacey……?"                                        

         “I have to go Quinn. Tell Max…… tell him, I’m sorry.”

         “But-”

         “I’ve gotta go.”

         Stacey hung up the phone before Quinn could continue, leaving Quinn to stare at the screen for a moment before becoming aware that there was a knock at the door to her suite. She went and opened the door to see Brad standing before her.

         _Yowza……_

_Hello gorgeous……_

         “Hi, Quinn.”

         “Hey Brad.”

         They stood looking at each other for a slightly awkward moment before both gave a nervous laugh and generic hug. Quinn gestured for him to come inside.

         “Would you like something to drink?” Quinn asked going to the little bar that was in her room.

         “No, thanks,” Brad stood a bit awkwardly in the sitting area waiting for her to join him. She returned to the area and sat in the chair furthest away from him, he noticed. He took his seat and looked at her. “How are you Quinn?”

         “I’m fine.” She spoke in a warm enough tone, but seemed to be holding back.

         “You talked to Max.”

         “I had to. Stacey is my friend and I was just trying to help.”

         “There are two sides to every story.”

         Quinn hesitated slightly.

         “I know, I guess I didn’t think about anyone other than Stacey.” She shifted her eyes from his. “I didn’t want her to be blindsided.”

_……like I was……_

         “How are you doing?”

         “Me? I’m good, I’m good, I’m great.”

         _Geesh that sounded false to my own ears….. He was really there for me. He’s been such a good…..what, friend? Are we friends with benefits? Oh, crap……what am I doing? Guys don’t care about stuff like that. Just chill and go with the flow……we’re both adults here._

         “Glad to hear it.”

         _Have you heard from that dirt bag Paul? Have you forgiven him? Why haven’t you told anyone about your breakup? Do you think of it as a breakup? ……what about us?......is there an us?_

         “I wanted to thank you,” Quinn said in a softer tone. It was the voice that he considered her real voice. It was filled with emotion and revealed more of what she felt than her actual words.

         “Oh? For what?”

         _What the fuck are you sounding like such an excited ass for? Calm down……jerk._

         “Your discretion……with what happened in New York. I appreciate you not saying anything to anyone- about the break up.”

         “I would never do that.”

_God you sound like a wuss._

         “I know. I also appreciate your staying and just……being there for me like you did. It meant a lot.”

         _Meant? Past tense…… is she pushing me away or something?_

         “Yeah, to me too.” He looked at her perfectly seated form sitting what felt like an ocean away and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to go to her, pull her into his arms and kiss her until she remembered what they were like for those days.

She stood.

         He stood.

         They both moved towards each other.

_What am I doing? I can’t just- dear god he’s- oomph- kissing….. me…..on my neck……and my ear……and it feels so good….. so damned good._

         She stilled him by placing both hands on either side of his face and looking into his eyes.

         _She doesn’t want……me……?_

_Why does he have to look……like that?_

         She kissed him then- with a passion and intensity that surprised her. Brad eagerly returned the kiss. They stayed that way……locked in an embrace kissing sometimes delicately, then all at once with a vigor but each time, they retreated going to the point where they would end up tearing one another’s clothes off……for now. Each wanted to savor what was happening. Finally, they slowed down enough to remain in each other’s arms, each still giving the other an occasional kiss on the neck or cheek or wherever.

         “Should we talk about it?” Quinn ventured quietly, while praying that she wasn’t screwing this up royally.

         Brad pulled back to look her in the eyes and nodded.

         _Okay……now what?_

         “I feel-”

         The ringtone on her interrupted whatever was to come next from her lips.

         _Damn!_

_Damn it!_

         “I’ll just-” she went and jerked up the phone answering it. “Hello?” The annoyance on her face turned to a slightly confused look. Brad moved closer to her out of concern. She looked up at him and gave a small smile. She covered the phone and whispered to him, “It’s my assistant. I won’t be but a minute.” He squeezed her elbow.

The knock at the door made them both jump. She gestured for him to answer it and gave a silent ‘thank you’ to him as he did so. Brad smiled to himself as he walked towards the door feeling better about things. Once Quinn was done on the phone, they would talk about things and come to some clear understandings about the two of them. He felt confident that she was feeling something for him and he really wanted explore these new and sometimes very scary feelings that she had brought forth in him. Brad opened the door to an impeccably dressed Paul standing in the hallway.

         “What the hell are you doing here?” Brad’s anger sprang forth.

         Paul gave Brad a dismissive look and pushed past him to further himself closer to Quinn. Quinn had already hung up and was approaching to see what was going on. Paul was now standing before Quinn and Brad was looking on the scene with a mixture of feelings.

         “What are you doing here Paul?” Quinn demanded.

         _Why don’t you tell him to leave?_

         “Darling,” Paul’s voice was smooth like velvet and he looked down at her exuding all of the charm that he could muster. “I’ve given you time to cool down and- well- it’s been too darned long. I miss you and I am sorry for that unpleasantness that you witnessed, but we owe it to ourselves to work things out.”  He took her hand in his. “Don’t you remember how good we were together? The energy and fast paced life that we lived…… don’t you miss it?”

_Tell him NO- Hell no. No, you don’t miss it and no you don’t miss him. Make him leave……and get back to us._

         “Paul-”

         “Give us some privacy,” Paul threw over his shoulder at Brad.

         Brad looked to Quinn. Quinn looked from Paul to Brad standing there near the door.

         “I can handle this Brad,” Quinn said to him, then turned her attention back to Paul.

         Brad looked at her and then at the hand that Paul still held. He left the pair silently and slowly headed to the nearest bar as his thoughts honed in the possibilities of what was happening in the room that he’d just left.

         _You fucking moron……when will you ever learn?_


	44. Thoughts......

_She’s up there with him…… he hasn’t come down or I would have seen him from this spot that I choose at the bar. Man, I am really a glutton for punishment. Sitting here drinking while that asshole is up there feeding her a bunch of bullshit lies…… She can’t take him back…… She wouldn’t…… I have aunts that have taken back guys that have done what he did and worse. She’s human…… and a lot more vulnerable than she lets on. If he talks a good enough game……_

        “Hitting it pretty hard there Brad,” Trent sat on the barstool next to Brad, his mellow voice breaking in on Brad’s thoughts. Brad gave no reply. “Have you seen Quinn?”

        Brad gave a snort/laugh.

        “Yeah; she’s upstairs with Paul.” He practically spit the guy’s name out.

        _Paul? Well that explains why you’re so messed up. Wait; didn’t my girl say something about Quinn and that guy breaking up? Yeah, she did cause she was all upset about Quinn being so over it so soon._        

        “Brad,” Trent said sharply making the young man look at him instead of the drink that he held, “how did Quinn seem?”

        Brad thought for a moment.

        “Quinn seemed very……in control. He wanted to talk about……their relationship and she agreed.” He downed the drink, put the glass on the counter, and signaled for another.

        “I should go check on her,” Trent said absently rising from where he sat.

        _Quinn can take care of herself……_

        Nevertheless, Brad found himself rising and joining Trent on what would be his return trip up to Quinn’s room.

 

Quinn’s room……

        Quinn opened the door with questioning eyes as to why Trent was there. Upon seeing Brad her eyes narrowed and drew their own conclusions.

        “Trent?”

        “He didn’t call me or anything,” Trent explained quickly.

        Quinn’s look remained somewhat skeptical.

        “What can I do for you?”

        “We just were……checking in on you,” Trent explained.

        Quinn crossed her arms over her chest and drew herself to her full height giving both men a stern look.

        “I’m just fine. Paul, on the other hand,” she turned sideways so that they could get full view of Paul hunched over on the floor after having been apparently kneed in the groin. His face was contorted in pain and he didn’t really cry out, only gurgled a bit incoherently with a slight whine on the edge of it.

        “What the-” Trent looked at the slender woman with a whole new found respect.

        “Let’s just say he doesn’t take rejection well, but I don’t take unwanted advances at all.” She smiled devilishly at them and sauntered back in not even giving Paul a cursory look as she went to the bar to pour herself something to drink. “Would either of you like something to drink?”

        “Uh- nah, like I said I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.” Trent was still taking in the scene with a bit of disbelief. He looked at the sobered by shock Brad that had remained silent. Brad was looking at Quinn and now Quinn was looking at him. “Why don’t I take out the garbage and let you guys talk?” Trent helped Paul to his feet and strong armed him on out the door leaving Brad still standing in the entrance and Quinn at her bar.

       


	45. Quinn talks, Brad listens

        “So……”

        “So……”

        They both took a seat across from each other.

        “We were supposed to talk……before,” Brad ventured watching her carefully.

        “Yeah, we were- we should……talk.”

        “Okay.”

        Quinn cast her eyes away slightly, and then looked back at him.

        “Did you think- What did you think would happen when you left here? I only ask because you seem…… out of sorts.”

        _Out of sorts? Try crazy as shit!_

        Brad ran a hand through his hair causing dishevelment to its normally perfectly combed style.

        “Honestly, I wasn’t sure. You were engaged to the guy once and as far as I know, no one else even knows that you broke up with him. He shows up demanding to see you and you let him. For all I knew……”

        “For all you knew, what?”

        It was his turn to look away, but he eventually brought his eyes back to hers.

        “For all I knew you two had- worked things out……and reconciled.” The last left a bitter tasted in his mouth as he said it.

        Anger flared in her eyes at the very thought of her allowing that maggot Paul to touch her.

        “I’m not some waif in a romance novel waiting for someone to come and rescue her,” she huffed indignantly. “He- he- what he did- He lied to me and betrayed my trust. He and I are over and if I’m honest with myself I should have seen it coming.”

        Brad raised a brow in question.

        _Surely you’re not blaming yourself for his stupidity……_

        “Paul and I never……” she fished around for a suitable word and took the opportunity to look away from him, “had relations.”

        _That can’t be right. They were like, engaged and shit…… and she looks so fucking hot and she’s the most passionate person that I have ever met…… okay, wait for the punch line._

        “It’s true,” she insisted seeing the clear skepticism all over his face. “I thought that it was so romantic that he wanted to have everything perfect when we gave ourselves to each other.”

        Brad looked at her as she spoke. Clearly she was remembering the early times- the good times of a new romance and adventure that was to be had.

        “He said that he loved me- and I believed him. He still says it, but as I look back on it…… I think that he loved the idea of me, not me as a person. He liked having a certain kind of person on his arm and saying the right things at the right events, but he never wanted me in a sexual way.”

        “Then he’s a damn fool.”

        Quinn smiled at Brad, it was a thankful smile.

        “It’s okay Brad. I am fully aware that men look at women differently than women look at men. I didn’t do it for Paul. The assistant did.”

_Surely she’s not comparing herself to that soulless stick person that Paul had been with. The bitch had smiled at Quinn when they’d walked in._

        “I’m not wallowing or anything,” she flicked her eyes away briefly.

        _Well, I’m not wallowing anymore……_

        “You helped me to get through what could have been a really horrible time and I’m so grateful for that. I hope that you know how much that means to me.”

        He nodded slowly.

        “Now I think it’s time that I officially move on with my life.” She waited watching him closely.

        _What does that mean?_

        “I don’t know what proper protocol is- at the company,” she spoke and moved to sit next to him, her eyes still fixed upon his face. “You and I,” she laughed a bit nervously, “well- we skipped a few steps.”

        He still looked perplexed.

        “I thought that it would be nice if we tried dating- that is, if you want to.”

        Brad was completely floored. He hadn’t known what he was expecting, but that was a surprise.

        “Of course if you want to leave things- as they were…… we don’t have to- what happened in New York can stay in New York.”

_Though I’ll never forget it……_

        “Are you saying that you want to date?” Brad asked incredulously.

        “Yeah…….”

        Quinn’s hand covered his. He looked at their hands and felt something that he hadn’t felt since those mornings in New York when he would wake first and hold her while she slept. He nodded and let the peaceful calm wash over him. She smiled at him and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his forehead. Brad smiled back at her feeling relief wash over him.

        “I would love to date you Quinn. When can we go out?”

        They continued holding hands and made plans well into the evening. They ordered up room service and talked about so much that neither realized how the time slipped away from them- not that they would have cared, because they were enjoying each other so very much.


	46. Reconnecting

Tour Bus…….

        “Hey.”

        “Hey.”

        “Did you see Quinn? Is she okay?”

        Trent looked at his girl on the video chat screen and traced her face with the pad of his thumb.

        _This screen is nowhere near a substitute for that beautiful face. Oh, my love…… look at the concern for her sister written in those eyes…… She doesn’t like to show that kind of emotion to anyone. We’ve come such a long way and this only underscores how much she’s grown emotionally. She and Quinn would definitely not be so considerate of each other if this were high school._

        “She’s fine.”

        “What did she-”

        “I love you.”

        She blinked a few times taken aback by this. They had long ago said ‘I love you and they still did, but this seemed so random and out of order.

        “I love you too.” She waited a beat. “Is something wrong? Did something happen?”

        He shook his head with a weary smile.

        “No, I was just thinking……”

        “About what?”

        “I’m glad that we have good friends and family, but I don’t want to lose sight of what’s important- us.” He looked at her sitting there looking so beautiful and he longed to hold her again. It had been too long for him. “Sometimes I feel like we’re extras in a show that we used to be the stars of.”

        “I don’t think anyone would tune in for a reality show about me and my neurosis, but throw in a hot musician like yourself and how could the MTV crow resist?” she teased around a playful smile.

        “Seriously,” he turned so that he was lying flat on his back and looking up at the screen that he held in his hand, “-and I know this sounds selfish, but I miss when it was all about us.”

        Her slight chuckle made him smile.

        “Are you saying that you think that we are in a rut?”

        “No, of course I don't.” He sighed. “I guess I just miss you and seeing everyone else’s relationships only underscores it.”

        “I kind of know what you mean, but then I remember the long road it took to get here and I’m glad that we’re where we are at. I don’t want any more angst or misunderstandings and uncertainty about our feelings.”

        “Well, yeah- that stuff I don’t miss at all…… I just miss you.” His voice was quiet.

        “I miss you too.” She admitted just as quietly. “Sometimes I find myself filling every minute of the day with stuff to do to keep me distracted from thinking about it for too long.” She lay back, turning on her side and looked at this man that she had grown to love so dearly over time. “I just want to let you know- in case you didn’t already, that these kinds of admissions are not a part of my normal thing. You make me…… softer……”

        “Should I apologize?”

        She gave a small smile.

        “Never; you keep me human and that……is something Trent Lane.”

        “You give me far too much credit my love.” He rolled to his stomach. “You are who you are and you are too smart to let anyone define that. With me, without me you’d still be the same smart and beautiful lady that you are. I, on the other hand would probably the drunk in the basement of my folks house hoping for ‘the big break’ to happen.”

        “That’s not true Trent. You made things happen in your life without me or Jane being there. You felt that you wanted to make some changes and you did- and now you are pursuing your music career- quite wonderfully too. I’m so proud of you.”

        Trent gave a slight reddening and scratched the side of his head. He couldn’t recall ever hearing someone say that too him and in such an honest tone that left no doubt about its authenticity.

        “I’m proud of you too-”

        “This isn’t tit for tat Trent. I don’t want you to ever feel obligated to say something back to me just because I said it to you. I know you weren’t doing that just then,” she said to the protest that she saw fixed upon his face. “I just thought that I should go ahead and clear that up- in case you didn’t know.”

        He smiled and gave a nod.

        “Okay and right back at cha with that.” He waited a beat before speaking again. “I am proud of you though. I think that people can forget how hard it can be to be as smart as you are and you push yourself so hard…… sometimes too hard to be more. I know with everything in me that you will succeed at whatever you want to do in life and you will always have my full support.”

        “Trent……”

        “I love you lady and don’t you ever forget it.”

        Her breath held for a moment; it still caught her off guard how he could just say something like that so easily. She felt it too and though it wasn’t a struggle to say as she had once thought that it would be, she still found herself sometimes afraid to say it too loudly. She was as certain of his feelings for her as she was her for him, but old fears of rejection for any reason could pop up at any time, because as loathe as she was to admit it…… she was human.

        “I love you too Trent Lane……and don’t you forget it either.”

        They spent a few moments of silence looking at each other before ending their call.


	47. Nick

        I should have let you leave, he thought looking at her sleeping form. Nick extricated himself from the bed and put his clothes on as quickly as possible. He went to the bathroom and splashed his face with some cold water. He looked at his reflection.

        _You’re clean and sober. You knew exactly what you were doing. She deserves……_

        He cast his eyes back toward the half open door that showed the back of a leg peeking from under the covers. He looked back at his reflection.

        _She deserves better than you. You can’t use drugs or alcohol as an excuse to fool yourself either. You saw someone that was good and true and you just had to have her didn’t you? Selfish…… Now what? If she finds out about- about…… she’ll be disgusted. How can she be anything else? It disgusts me to think about it._

        “Nick?”

        _Her voice is like that of an Angel….._

_Yeah, an angel that you spent all of last night and some of this morning- Stop it! Just get out of here fast and forget that you were in heaven._

        He walked just inside the room. She had sat up in the bed and put the covers around her as much as she could. All that was exposed was a right ankle and foot.

        “Everything okay Nick?” her eyes searched his face.

        “Yeah, I just-” he was moving toward the door as he spoke, “got to meet the guys for practice. You know tour stuff.” His hand was on the knob as he spoke the last.

        “I see,” she looked at him levelly. “It’s okay Nicky. You don’t have to run off.”

        His hand eased its grip off the door.

_Aw, balls. She deserves a hell of a lot more than me. No matter what I do, I’m gonna fuck this up._

        “I’m sorry. I just- well I’m not exactly……”

        “Mornings aren’t your thing huh? Especially having to share them with someone other than your bandmates,” she stood and retrieved her clothes from the floor. “I’m gonna get myself cleaned up and somewhat presentable. If you’re here when I come out maybe we can have breakfast. Otherwise, no hard feelings okay?”

        He nodded and watched as she went into the bathroom and shut the door. He waited until he heard the water running before opening the door.

_Hey asshole, what are you doing? This chick is solid and she said no strings and shit. You said that she deserves better, well stay- be better for her. Let her down as easily as possible before going to piss what’s left of your life away._

        Nick shut the door and went back in to sit on the sofa that was adjacent to the bed. His eyes fell to the bed and he remembered last night……

 

        She had been at the bar and he had been at the bar talking to Sam- the bartender. She had joined in and soon enough Sam had bowed out of the conversation leaving them to enjoy each other’s company. Nick had found her so refreshingly honest compared to the countless one nighters that he was used to leaving with, so when she agreed to leave with him he was more than a little surprised. He had thought that maybe she would open up to him about some jerk that had done her wrong and they would spend the night talking or watching tv or both- it never occurred to him that outside of being wasted or fast on the way to becoming wasted, that going back to the room with a chick like her could be anything other than a loose friendship. I mean she had a lot going for herself. She was very put together- but hey even smart girls want to get laid, he had supposed when she had let him kiss her. Maybe she had been just slumming it, he’d thought as they had discarded their clothes. The thought had been fleeting because after that nothing else had mattered except how good everything was feeling.

 

        “You’re here?” she said coming out of the restroom fully dressed and clearly surprised that he was still there.

        “Yeah,” he laughed nervously while running a hand through his multicolored hair. “I thought I’d take you up on that breakfast scenario……if you want.”

        “Sure,” she grabbed her purse and they headed down out the door.

 

 

        They sat in the booth of the place that was a clear imitation of Denney’s across from each other. Nick fidgeted with his napkin and she studied him over the top of the menu that had been handed to them.

        _What the fuck? It’s like I’ve never had a conversation with a girl before. Well you haven’t stupid. Asking a chick if she wants to ‘do it’ in a room or the hallway isn’t exactly table talk- at least not for this kind of girl. She’s smart and pretty- classy._

        “Nick, you okay?” her voice broke through his thoughts.

        “Yeah,” he smiled.

        _Man, even smiling feels weird……me sober, with a classy girl- no, woman like her._

        “What?”

        He shook his head and picked up his menu.

        “If you want to go……”

        “Not a chance.” He reached across the table and took hold of her hand. She gave a demure side smile at him. “I’m just kind of holding my breath in case this is a dream.”

        “Nick……you don’t have to say stuff like that.”

        _But damn if it don’t sound sweet._

        “I mean it.” He spoke a bit awkward, but he needed her to know that he was genuinely happy to be there with her.

        The waitress came and they gave their orders. Another wave of customers entered and as the boisterous group entered one of the young men sporting a rainbow of colored hair stopped and looked down at the duo in the booth.

        “Nick, as I live and breathe,” the smoke laden man said as he surveyed the young woman that Nick was with intensely. “Well looks like I’m the clear winner in this scenario.” The guy laughed heartily and signaled to his group that he’d only be a second or two more. He then turned to Nick’s companion, “No offense of course.”

        “Shut up Eugene,” Nick spoke tightly.

        “My name is Card,” the man spoke heatedly.

        Nick stood making him taller than ‘Card’ by almost a foot.

        “You should apologize to the lady.”

        The two men stared each other down for the longest five seconds the diner had seen in a while. Card took a slight step back and gave a cocky smile and while still looking at Nick he spoke.

        “Okay, sorry.” He waited a beat. “Sorry that I thought that Nick got the short end of the stick because you’re fat-”

        He didn’t get to finish what he was saying because Nick punched him and continued to pound the guy down. They were finally pulled apart by the owner and a patron.

        “Now you two cool off outside.” The owner demanded as the duo was hauled out with their companions following. Card’s group piled up in the car and took off, while Nick stood looking at them drive off.

        “We should get some ice on that hand,” her voice came from behind. He kept his back to her and nodded.

        “I’ll be right back,” he darted back into the diner and she saw him conversing with the owner. The owner started out appearing to be angry and animated, but as Nick continued to talk to him he seemed to calm down. Nick looked out the door to her and motioned for her to come in. She did so and they took a seat at the counter while the owner disappeared in back.

        “What’s going on?”

        “I go our order to go.”

        “Really? That’s impressive. However did you manage that?”

        Nick spoke looking forward.

        “I apologized for my behavior and he said okay.”

        _Why Nick are you playing at modesty or is this really you?_

        “Here you go,” the owner came out handing Nick the heavily laden bags. Nick took them and gave the owner some folded bills. The owner looked at the several hundred dollars then back at the young man. “This is-”

        Nick shook his head and looked at his date. An understanding of sorts passed between the two men.

        “To cover any damages,” he explained.

        The couple walked towards the door with Nick walking a step behind so that he could slip a couple of bills onto the booth where they had been sitting for the waitress.

 

The park……

        “This is nice,” she said to Nick once they had set up their food.

        “Yeah, it’s a nice park.”

        He still had not looked at her directly.

        “Nick,” she waited until his eyes met hers, “about that guy-”

        He looked away ashamed.

        “I’m sorry about- my behavior and just everything. He had no right to say- to talk to about you like that and I shouldn’t have lost it. I really didn’t ever want you to see that part of me. I thought that I had left that guy behind when-” he stopped short. He didn’t want to scare her to death with how he used to be. He cleared his throat. “I just hate that you saw that.”

        “It’s okay Nick.” She waited a few moments before continuing, “you didn’t have to defend me though. It’s not like that was the first time something like that has happened.”

_And it probably won’t be the last._

        He looked at her like she had grown another head in front of him.

        “You’re very sweet, but you aren’t blind. I know that I am more than a little over weight and I will never be a size two by any stretch of the imagination. I like me though and as long as I’m okay with me then……” she shrugged dismissively.

        _You are fucking awesome!_

        “For the record,” he allowed his hand to cover hers, “it was never an issue for me either. Guys like Card- anyone really doesn’t have the right to do that- belittle someone else because they are insecure with themselves.”

        “They do it because they can.”

        “Well, not to you and not when I’m around.”

        She smiled to herself.

        _Okay, so he’s got a thing for big girls. I guess I could go with that……for as long as it lasts._

        They each snuck looks at the other while enjoying their meal.


End file.
